Skip to main content

Five Things to Watch This Week - Week 4

The Patriots play their fourth game of the year at the Georgia Dome against the Atlanta Falcons on Sunday September 29th at 8:30 PM.

After a 3 - 0 start, we're playing our first real team of the season this week (sorry Bills fans).  The schedule gets a lot more challenging over the next few weeks.  Everybody hold on to your butts.

The "Gronkowski  is back" rumors are heating up this week.  Eh.  I'll believe it when I see him on the field.  Until then, he's Keyser Soze. ("Nobody believed he was real... Nobody ever saw him or knew anybody that ever worked directly for him...")

Last week I referred to Rob Ninkovich as a "gem".  This week, he got a three year contract extension.  Coincidence?  Yes, probably.


Bill is super excited for Sunday's game, you guys.


How are the new WRs working out so far?

Catches per game:

        Week 1         Week 2              Week 3
Kenbrell Thompkins 4 2 3
Aaron Dobson 0 3 7
Josh Boyce 0 0 0
Total 4 5 10


Not great!

But getting... better... I guess?  (Better-ish?  That's a word, right?)


LeGarrette Power Rankings:

1)

2) Blount

3)

4)

5)

(I couldn't find any other LeGarrettes out there.  Sorry.)


Here are five guys who have showed up on game day this year:

1) Alfonzo Dennard - Looks like he might really be a football player.  They may have finally hit on a corner in the draft!  Let's hope the off the field issues don't become a recurring problem.

2) Vince Wilfork - The Big Man has been seeing a lot of double teams so far this year.  He still makes everyone around him better.

3) Chandler Jones - Three sacks in 3 games so far this season.  I love this guy.

4) Devin McCourty - I greatly prefer Devin McCourty the safety to Devin McCourty the cornerback.

5) Julian Edelman - Officially the all time NFL leader in punt return average.  Holy crap.

5A) Tyroil Smoochie-Wallace - Undrafted practice squad d-line player.  Hopefully he'll see some game day action this season.


Did Michael Hoomanawanui have a catch last week?

Yes!  

Two catches, in fact.

Yeaaaah.


My prediction: Pats 24, Falcons 28

My prediction (Season): 10 - 6


*****
This week we have Fake Josh McDaniels filling for Fake Bill Belichick.

What up, Bros and Lady Bros?

We're off to a hot start.

Is the offense getting better every week?

Damn right it is.


See?  Josh can fill out a roster.  Josh is ready to shop for the bro-ceries.

But Brady is still being Mr. Cranky Pants behind the scenes, though.  He misses his Welker binky.  He was in my office complaining again all week.


     TB: What are we doing here?  This team sucks.  I only have 5 touchdowns so far!

     JM: We're winning games, aren't we?

     TB: I want Wes back.  Can't we bring him back somehow?  We spent 2 hours on the phone last night tell each other how much we miss each other.

     JM: That train has sailed.  Bill's pissed at him for some reason.  He's Peyton's bitch now.  Get over it.  The offense will get better.  It's still a work in progress.  Besides... We're running the ball better these days, aren't we?

     TB: So what?

     JM: So what?!  Obviously, Josh loves the ALL OUT AERIAL ATTACK, too.  "Throws before hoes" is what I always say.  But if you can run the ball well, it makes it easier to air it out, right?

     TB: OK...  I guess.

     JM: And we'll even have Gronk back for you soon enough.  See?  It's going to be OK.

     TB: Oh Josh... You know I can't stay mad at you.  Here... Have a pair of Uggs.



As soon as he left my office, I brought the Uggs out to the dumpster (if I just throw them in the trash, the cleaning staff puts them back on my desk).  That's the third pair he's tried to pawn off on me this month.  Stop making fancy boots for bros trying to happen!  It's not going to happen!

Until next time... take it easy, Brahs.

JAY MICK DEE OUT.

(Also... Nobody tell Josh what happens on the final episode of Breaking Bad.  I'm not going to get to watch it until Monday morning.  GATORADE ME BITCH!)

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Three Things to Watch This Week - Week 4

The defending Super Bowl Champion New England Patriots play Cam Newton and the Carolina Panthers at Gillette Stadium on Sunday October 1st at 1:00 PM.



"See ya later, Navigator!"
Turkey power rankings:

1) Sandwich

2) Jive

3) Wild

4) Roast

5) Cold

6) Vulture

7) (the country)


The defense still looks like poo.  Here are three guys I'm excited about watching this week:

1) James White - Please keep working him into the passing game.

2) Deatrich Wise - Whoa.  Where'd that guy come from?  He has been all over the place last few weeks.  He's been one of the few bright spots on defensive line so far this season.

3) Tom Brady - Tom won AFC Player of the Week for weeks 2 and 3.  An honor he's now received 29 times.  But if he's so good, how come he never won NFC Player of the Week, huh?


Just want to let it be known that I'm available to go in at WR if necessary.  Thank you.


My prediction: Pats 30, Panthers 24

*****
This week we have Fake Matt Patricia filling for F…

Three Things to Watch This Week - Week 13

The defending Super Bowl Champion New England Patriots play Tyrod TaylorNathan Peterman Tyrod Taylor and the Buffalo Bills at New Era Field in Orchard Park, New York on Sunday December 3rd at 1:00 PM.


Western New Yorkers on the 219 to New Era Field


Wise Power Rankings:

1) Penny

2) Ray

3) Deatrich Jr

4) Guys

5) Potato Chips


I'll say it...  I did not particularly care for the way the Dolphins played defense last week.  Bunch of cheap shot artists.

Here's three thoughts I had about last Sunday:

1) Nate Ebner - Great effort on the fake punt... and now he's done for the year.  Rat farts.

2) Trey Flowers - Probably having the best year of anyone on the defensive line.

3) Stephon Gilmore - I still think Butler is a better corner, but Gilmore has looked less awful out there as of late.

My prediction: Pats 24, Bills 16

*****

This week we have Lord Humungus filling for Fake Bill Belichick.


WELCOME TO THE WASTELAND OF WESTERN NEW YORK.

STEP CAREFULLY.  A THOUSAND YEARS OF VIOLENCE AND …

Three Things to Watch This Week - Week 2

The defending Super Bowl Champion New England Patriots play Drew Brees and the New Orleans Saints at Mercedes-Benz Superdome on Sunday September 17th at 1:00 PM.


Frank Silva, Harbormaster
Not a great start to the season, you guys.  I'm hoping to have more of a read on this team after this week.  Signs point to no Dont'a Hightower or Danny Amendola this week.  BUT... New Orleans was even worse in week 1.  We should still be able to pull this one out.  I'm not panicking yet.  BUT ALSO... let's not lose this week and start the season 0 - 2.

Gilmore Power Rankings:

1) Lorelai

2) Artis

3) Rory

4) Stephon


Here are three players that play for the Patriots that aren't injured yet as of press time:

1) Malcolm Butler - Butler didn't have a great pre-season, but I thought he looked better than Stephon Gilmore out there week 1.

2) Chris Hogan - One catch for 8 yards isn't going to cut it.  I need to see a Big Hogan week this week (Is "Big Hogan" a saying?  It…