The 1 - 4 New England Patriots play C.J. Stroud and the Houston Texans at Gillette Stadium on Sunday October 13th at 1:00 PM.
They really should stop buttering the ball between plays.
That Patriots - Dolphins game last week was one of the worst things I've ever seen. Let's never speak of it again.
The Patriots have announced third overall pick Drake Maye as the starting quarterback this week. I feel like it's too soon. But it's not my job on the line. I'll be nice and cozy on the couch with snacks and beverages and a dog that will pick the absolute worst time to decide that he has to go out.
Drake Power Rankings:
1) 's Cakes
2) (the duck)
3) (the singer from Canada)
4) Gilded
5) Maye
Here are three things that could have been better in week 5:
1) Jacoby Brissett. Thank you for your contributions. I appreciate your effort. I'm not sure how you're still standing.
2) The play calling had me scratching my head on multiple occasions.
3) The whole WR position group. The problem with leaning on a group of young wide receivers is that sometimes they do stupid stuff.
Dad Rock Jam of the Week
(I had forgotten just how weird this video was. Monster truck? Sure! Magic bridge? Absolutely! Space shuttle car that launches out of a pyramid? You better believe it!!!)
Did the Patriots score 20 points last week?
Halfway there!
My prediction: Patriots 19, Texans 35
***
Thursday Morning Third Down Back is pleased to welcome German existentialist filmmaker Bob Kraft. (to be read in a vaguely Werner Herzog-esque voice)
A man extends his reach and achieves more than he has ever dreamed of in this life. I have seen it all in my time. The highest highs and the lowest lows. The succulent middles.
I got to watch the greatest quarterback the sport has ever produced on my own team.
I have built an epic cathedral of steel and concrete that will long outlive my time on this planet.
I also appreciate our various concessions, especially the pulled pork sandwich found in the luxury box, perhaps paired with a soft pretzel and a not too pretentious pilsner.
But what is one to do with whatever remaining time they have left? Other than hide from death for another day? Will I not ever again see this team at the top of the mountain? How does one go back to a life of NFL poverty after living like a king for so long?
Don't we all deserve a happy ending?
(Thursday Morning Third Down Back is never written with AI or accepts payments from foreign governments.)
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