Thursday Morning Third Down Back

The defending Super Bowl Champion New England Patriots play Tyrod Taylor and the Buffalo Bills at Gillette Stadium on Sunday December 24th at 1:00 PM. "I never thought it was such a bad little tree. It's not bad at all, really. Maybe it just needs a little love." Winter Power Rankings: 1) Warmer 2) Soldier 3) Solstice 4) Alex 5) Olympics What a roller coaster of emotions that Pittsburgh game was.  Oh my.  It may have taken me a while to calm down after that. Here's three things I liked last week. 1) Malcolm Butler - Butler made a HUGE tackle to keep his guy in bounds on the play before  the final play last week.  That's a big part of the reason why the Steelers looked like a disorganized fire drill. 2) Duron Harmon - Nice interception!  Timely! 3) Rob Gronkowski - That whole last drive.  Whoa.  A guy that big shouldn't be able to move that well.  Also... Pittsburgh - that guy was KILLING you the whole second half. I dunno...  Ma

The defending Super Bowl Champion New England Patriots play Ben Roethlisberger and the Pittsburgh Steelers at Heinz Field on Sunday December 17th at 4:25 PM. Me avoiding spoilers this week (“I am one with the Force and the Force is with me.”) I'm hoping last week was a fluke.  Because that game was no fun to watch. No Thursday Morning Third Down Back Game Balls (TM) for anyone for Monday night's efforts.  Maybe the whole team was so excited for Last Jedi they forgot to practice last week?  Don't know.  Tough to say. Kenny Power Rankings: 1) Loggins 2) Tom 3) Baker 4) McCormick 5) Rogers Here's three things I'll be watching this Sunday afternoon: 1) Kenny Britt - Kenny Britt?  Prisint! (Also, I did not realize he was 6'3''.  I didn't know WRs were allowed to be that tall.) 2) Rob Gronkowski - Gronk back?  Gronk back.  Good.  Now don't go out there and do antything stupid again. 3) Dion Lewis - Dion did NOT

The defending Super Bowl Champion New England Patriots play Jay Cutler and the Miami Dolphins at Joe Robbie Stadium Pro Player Park Pro Player Stadium Dolphin Stadium Land Shark Stadium Sun Life Stadium  Hard Rock Stadium in Miami Gardens, Florida on Monday December 11th at 8:30 PM. Late night Monday Night Football, eh?  I probably won't be able to watch the game with my sons Han and Chewie. "Use your harpoons and tow cables. Go for the legs. It might be our only chance of stopping them" Lee Power Rankings: 1) Bruce 2) Christopher 3) Geddy 4) Eric 5) Fields 6) Tenacious 7) Jamie Curtis 8) -lee Sobieski 9) Massachusetts 10) Pace 11) David Roth Decent game last week.  Thursday Morning Third Down Back Game Balls (TM) go to : 1) Eric Lee (who?) for having the game of his life against his former team last week.  Interception!   Sack! 2) Dion Lewis - Dion had 92 yards on 15 carries for a gaudy 6.1 yard average.  3) Rex Burkhead - Rex a

The defending Super Bowl Champion New England Patriots play Tyrod Taylor Nathan Peterman Tyrod Taylor and the Buffalo Bills at New Era Field in Orchard Park, New York on Sunday December 3rd at 1:00 PM. Western New Yorkers on the 219 to New Era Field Wise Power Rankings: 1) Penny 2) Ray 3) Deatrich Jr 4) Guys 5) Potato Chips I'll say it...  I did not particularly care for the way the Dolphins played defense last week.  Bunch of cheap shot artists. Here's three thoughts I had about last Sunday: 1) Nate Ebner - Great effort on the fake punt... and now he's done for the year.  Rat farts. 2) Trey Flowers - Probably having the best year of anyone on the defensive line. 3) Stephon Gilmore - I still think Butler is a better corner, but Gilmore has looked less awful out there as of late. My prediction: Pats 24, Bills 16 ***** This week we have Lord Humungus filling for Fake Bill Belichick. WELCOME TO THE WASTELAND OF WESTERN NEW YORK. STEP

The defending Super Bowl Champion New England Patriots play Jay Cutler Matt Moore and the Miami Dolphins at Gillette Stadium on Sunday November 26th at 1:00 PM. Hope your Thanksgiving was this good. Butler Power Rankings: 1) Malcolm 2) Rhett 3) Alfred 4) University 5) Adam Here's three things I liked about last week: 1) Stephen Gostkowski - Gostkowski kicked a 62 yard field goal last week that looked like it would have been good from 70 yards.  Whoa. 2) Tom Brady - Brady started 12 for 12 against Oakland and it was all over early.  Not a ton of suspense last week.  If they go up by four scores again at any point, please take him out and put him in bubble wrap. 3) Brandin Cooks - I still like the Brandin Cooks trade.  Just the right number of Cooks . My prediction: Pats 30, Dolphins 17 ***** This week we have Fake Ivan Fears filling for Fake Bill Belichick. It's me.  Coach Fears.  I've been the running backs coach here in New England for

The defending Super Bowl Champion New England Patriots play Derek Carr and the Oakland Raiders at Estadio Azteca in Mexico City on Sunday November 19th at 4:25 PM. Deputy Director Cole, Agent Preston and Agent Rosenfield look in on the corpse of the Broncos. Cracker Power Rankings: 1) graham crust 2) -jack 3) Stoned Wheat Thins (underrated!) 4) Kerosene Hat 5) Triscuits (Ritz would have been up here few years ago, but I feel like they've changed the recipe since Kraft sold the brand off.) Looks like we won't have to worry about a playoff game in Denver this year.  Brock Osweiler was not so good for the Broncos last week.  Right after Cris Collinsworth came out with  "He looks sharp out here tonight!", the Brocketship immediately threw this beauty .  Bonus Brock gif!  Watch out, Blue Jacket Guy! Here's three things I liked about last week: 1) Rob Gronkowski - That was definitely  a touchdown. 2) Dion Lewis - Love Dion Lewis.  That re

The defending Super Bowl Champion New England Patriots play Trevor Siemian Brock Osweiler and the Denver Broncos at Sports Authority Field at Mile High on Sunday November 12th and 8:30 PM. Bennett Power Rankings: 1) Martellus 2) Mags 3) Tony 4) Michael 5) Dickie 1) Martellus Bennett - Marty back?  Marty's back!  Woo hoo!  Wait a minute... Source: Bennett has torn rotator cuff, labrum.   Yikes. 2) James White - Still love me some James White.  He's flying under the radar with 43 receptions already. 3) Trey Flowers - Watch Trey get back onsides before San Diego can snap the ball.  That's great hustle! My prediction: Pats 31, Broncos 21 ***** This week we have Fake Josh McDaniels filling for Fake Bill Belichick. What's up, Brolins and Lady Brolins? WE TRADED JIMMY G?  AND THAT'S ALL WE GOT FOR HIM?! Jimmy G was my future.  Bill and Tom were going to retire then Jimmy and me were going to take over and win the next six Super Bowls together. What am I even doing here

The defending Super Bowl Champion New England Patriots play Philip Rivers and the San Diego Los Angeles Chargers at Gillette Stadium on Sunday October 29th at 1:00 PM. We get it.  You vape. Mash Power Rankings: 1) -ed potatoes 2) monster 3) (movie) 4) bill 5) dastardly  We lost Hightower for the season ?  Farts. With inclement weather in the forecast for Sunday, let's focus on the ground game this week: 1) Dion Lewis - I've never seen anyone cut and change direction as fast as he can. 2) James White - He's been fantastic on third downs.  He's like that third bowl of porridge for this offense.  Juuuuust right. 3) Rex Burkhead - Is this the week Burkhead has his breakout game?  Maybe! My prediction:  Patriots 27, Chargers 24 ***** This year, we're going to have regular contributions from Fake Bill Belichick for your reading pleasure. Arrrgh!  It be me, the Dread Pirate Bill. The only thing I love more than winning Super Bowls

The defending Super Bowl Champion New England Patriots play Matt Ryan and the Atlanta Falcons at Gillette Stadium on Sunday October 22nd at 8:30 PM. Not a touchdown Quinn Power Rankings: 1) Mighty 2) Anthony 3) Colin 4) Doctor 5) Harley ... 39) Dan An 8:30 PM game?  Yikes.  I'm not going to be able to watch this ones with my sons Macallan and Lagavulin. I know the Patriots are 4 - 2 but... eh?  I just don't know. I think at this time last week I would have picked the Falcons over the Patriots.  With the revenge factor and whatnot.  But then... the Falcons blew a 17 point lead and lost to the Dolphins?!  For real?  That can't be right. 1) Dont’a Hightower - He doesn't get a ton of them, but Hightower has this strange ability to just go out and get a sack in a really big moment. 2) Dion Lewis - Lewis got some extra work after Mike Gillislee put one on the ground last week.  He deserves more touches. (Just two things this week.) My p

The defending Super Bowl Champion New England Patriots play Josh McCown and the New York Jets at MetLife Stadium on Sunday October 15th at 1:00 PM. Martin Power Rankings: 1) Chief Brody 2) Scorsese 3) Steve (defensive tackle) 3a) Steve (actor comedian) 4) Short 5) Lawrence 6) George R.R. 7) Starr 8) Freeman 9) Sheen 10) Dean 11) Mull The Patriots won ugly last week.  The good news is... that still counts as a win.  The bad news is that it took 3 missed FGs by the Bucs to seal the deal . I've got to be honest with you.  I felt a little bad for Nick Folk.  Going out there and yakking 3 kicks in front of the home crowd has got to be a horrible feeling. Moving forward.  I'm going to try to be as positive as possible this week. 1) Malcolm Butler - I still feel like he's our best corner.  He's a great tackler.  And he helps out in the run game.  (UPDATE: Stephon Gilmore is out this week.) 2) Brandin Cooks - I wish they would work hi

The defending Super Bowl Champion New England Patriots play Jameis Winston and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers at Raymond James Stadium on Thursday October 5th at 8:25 PM. What do we think of the defense so far? Marvin Rankings: 1) Suggs 2) Berry (Your cousin! Marvin Berry!) 3) Marvin from  Pulp Fiction (1994) 4) Gaye 5) Lee 6) Hamlisch 7) Windows and Doors 8) Hagler Ooooh boy, that was poor last week.  Not just the last second field goal.  I mean sure, that was rough, too.  But everything leading up to that was ugly.  Can we get one stop on defense? Just one?  Please? Here are three things I'm worried about for Thursday (in addition to the baggage retrieval system they've got at Heathrow): 1) Stephon Gilmore - Did they sign Gilmore to that huge contract just because he's tall?  So far that looks like his only skill. 2) Rob Gronkowski - Every time I see three guys take Gronk down, I'm afraid he's not going to get up again.  (And now he

The defending Super Bowl Champion New England Patriots play Cam Newton and the Carolina Panthers at Gillette Stadium on Sunday October 1st at 1:00 PM. "See ya later, Navigator!" Turkey power rankings: 1) Sandwich 2) Jive 3) Wild 4) Roast 5) Cold 6) Vulture 7) (the country) The defense still looks like poo.  Here are three guys I'm excited about watching this week: 1) James White - Please keep working him into the passing game. 2) Deatrich Wise - Whoa.  Where'd that guy come from?  He has been all over the place last few weeks.  He's been one of the few bright spots on defensive line so far this season. 3) Tom Brady - Tom won AFC Player of the Week for weeks 2 and 3.  An honor he's now received 29 times.  But if he's so good, how come he never won NFC Player of the Week, huh? Just want to let it be known that I'm available to go in at WR if necessary.  Thank you. My prediction: Pats 30, Panthers 24 ***** This we

The defending Super Bowl Champion New England Patriots play Drew Brees and the New Orleans Saints at Mercedes-Benz Superdome on Sunday September 17th at 1:00 PM. Frank Silva, Harbormaster Not a great start to the season, you guys.  I'm hoping to have more of a read on this team after this week.  Signs point to no Dont'a Hightower or Danny Amendola this week.  BUT... New Orleans was even worse in week 1.  We should still be able to pull this one out.  I'm not panicking yet.  BUT ALSO... let's not lose this week and start the season 0 - 2. Gilmore Power Rankings: 1) Lorelai 2) Artis 3) Rory 4) Stephon Here are three players that play for the Patriots that aren't injured yet as of press time: 1) Malcolm Butler - Butler didn't have a great pre-season, but I thought he looked better than Stephon Gilmore out there week 1. 2) Chris Hogan - One catch for 8 yards isn't going to cut it.  I need to see a Big Hogan week this week (Is "Big H

The defending Super Bowl Champion New England Patriots play Alex Smith (ugh, still?) and the Kansas City Chiefs at Gillette Stadium on Thursday September 7th at 8:30 PM. Marsh Power Rankings: 1) Randy 2) Beverly 3) Mallow 4) Blooming 5) Salt 6) Cassius 7) -all Crenshaw Get well soon, Julian Edelman With Edelman on the shelf for the season, here are three guys I'm hoping can help pick up the slack: 1) Brandin Cooks - Feels like they've been keeping him under wraps for the preseason.  They might have something special here.  I'm expecting big things. 2) Danny Amendola - It would be nice if Danny could stay healthy for 16 games, but I'm not holding my breath.   (Wouldn't you go by "Daniel" as a grown man?) 3) James White -  Obviously, he had himself a heck of a game in the Super Bowl.  But did you know he also had 60 receptions last year?  Well he did! New Business: The Patriots acquired a number of new players this year

The AFC Champion New England Patriots play Matt Ryan and the Atlanta Falcons at NRG Stadium on Sunday February 5th at 6:30 PM. I'm cautiously optimistic about our chances on Sunday. Again... Thanks for coming along for the ride.  It's been an entertaining season. Who's got 15?  Anyone? Super Power Rankings: 1) flight 2) invisibility 3) being able to find a parking space when you really need one 4) indestructibility 5) telekinesis, Kyle Here's three things I'm looking forward to watching Sunday night: 1) Malcolm Butler / Devin McCourty / Patrick Chung - I'm putting a lot of responsibility on the secondary this week (note - not actually my decision) .  The defense doesn't have to be GREAT.  Just be VERY GOOD and get a few big stops. 2) LeGarrette Blount / Dion Lewis - Whenever I think we're going to get one of these guys as the feature back in the game plan that week, we end up getting the other guy.  So I'm just going

The AFC #1 seed New England Patriots play Ben Roethlisberger and the Pittsburgh Steelers at Gillette on Sunday January 22nd at 6:40 PM. That kick return (makes Italian chef kissing fingers gesture). First half of divisional round game against the Texans was ugly.  Sloppy!  Patriots rusty from the bye week?  Were the Texans just playing out of their mind?  Eh.  Maybe a little bit of both. This is a very good Steelers team the Patriots are playing this week.  But it doesn't feel like a very deep Steelers team.  The Patriots defense should be able to take away Pittsburgh's main offensive weapons. Supposedly half the Steelers have the flu.  Genius Bill Belichick strikes again!  Diabolical. Ben Power Rankings: 1) Franklin 2) & Jerry’s 3) Dover 4) edict Cumberbatch 5) Roethlisberger 6) Folds 7) Gazzara 8) icio Del Toro Here's three things I'm looking forward to watching Sunday night: 1) Malcolm Butler - It's Butler vs. Antonio Brow

The AFC #1 seed New England Patriots play Brock Osweiler Tom Savage Brock Osweiler and the Houston Texans at Gillette on Saturday January 14th at 8:15 PM. This could be Vince's last game.  Shout out to the Big Man. Are you excited for this game?  I'm excited for this game. O'Brien Power Rankings 1) Miles 2) Richard 3) Conan 4) Bill 5) Chloe Here's three things I'm looking forward to watching Saturday night: 1) LeGarrette Blount - Feels like a Blount force trauma game.  ( Late editorial note: LeGarrette Blount (Illness) Misses Practice For Second Straight Day.  Yikes.  Scratch that.) 2) Offensive Line - The line had a heck of a good year.  Brady stayed clean.  The running backs had plenty of room.  Shout out to Dante Scarnecchia for coming out of retirement. 3) Dont'a Hightower - I think he's healthy again.  They've been moving him around more lately.  Watch where they have him line up before the play starts.  On the edge.