Thursday Morning Third Down Back

The first place New England Patriots play Brock Osweiler and the Houston Texans at Gillette on Thursday September 22nd at 8:25 PM (A late game on a school night?!  How am I supposed to watch the game with my sons Mookie and Betts?!) Is that one of those tiny footballs?  Jacoby looks like a *giant* here. OK, Brissett.  Let's see what you got. Garoppolo going down isn't great.  I had a plan for an escalating joke where the current asking price for Garoppolo eventually went up to 17,000 first round picks (not unreasonable!).  But now he's hurt.  Also, maybe we should keep him now?  I'm torn here.  We'll see. But I'm honestly not that worried.  Jacoby had a really good preseason.  We've got the best quarterback ever coming back in 3 weeks.  We'll be fine. Jacoby Power Rankings: 1) Dr. Lawrence 2) Brissett 3) Feed & Seed 4) Captain 5) Max ... 11,997)  Ellsbury Here's three things I'll be getting defensive about on

The first place New England Patriots play Ryan Tannehill and the Miami Dolphins at Gillette on Sunday September 18th at 1:00 PM (A middle of the afternoon game?!  How am I supposed to enjoy a drink during the game if I'm watching my sons Jackie and Bradley Jr.?!) Pull my finger. Moss Power Rankings*: 1) Randy 2) Peat 3) Elizabeth 4) Maurice 5) Carrie-Anne 6) Spanish 7) Kate 8) Llewelyn *fedora tip to Viking Dave Here's three things I'll probably find offensive on Sunday: 1) Chris Hogan - Oh, hello there, Chris Hogan!  Nice touchdown catch last week!  Welcome aboard. 2) Julian Edelman - Great game last week.  Edelman takes an absolute beating and keeps getting back up. 3) James White - I want to see more James White after last week.  More, dammit, more! BONUS FOURTH ITEM : Martellus Bennett - Bennett didn't have a huge game numbers-wise (3 catches for 14 yards), but had some fantastic blocks and a most excellent  extra effort on

The Patriots play Carson Palmer and the Arizona Cardinals at University of Phoenix Stadium on Sunday September 11th at 8:30 PM. Football is back!  Everything is right with the world!  I'll never complain about anything again! (You're going to start me off right out of the gate with an 8:30 PM game?!  What the hell, NFL?  How am I supposed to watch this game with my sons Braxton and Hicks?) In the room the women come and go  Talking of James Garoppolo. Just go 2 - 2 while Brady is out.  That's really all I'm asking for.  That seems reasonable, right? Lake Power Rankings: 1) Erie 2) Bell 3) Ontario (possibly Canadian maybe?) 4) Top of the 5) Huron (people forget Huron) 6) Michigan 7) Superior (a little too full of itself in my opinion) Here's three things I'll be watching closely on Sunday night if I can stay up that late: 1) Offensive Line - You know, a lotta ins, a lotta outs, a lotta what-have-yous. And, uh, a lotta strands t