(A late game on a school night?! How am I supposed to watch the game with my sons Mookie and Betts?!)
Is that one of those tiny footballs? Jacoby looks like a *giant* here.
OK, Brissett. Let's see what you got.
Garoppolo going down isn't great. I had a plan for an escalating joke where the current asking price for Garoppolo eventually went up to 17,000 first round picks (not unreasonable!). But now he's hurt. Also, maybe we should keep him now? I'm torn here. We'll see.
But I'm honestly not that worried. Jacoby had a really good preseason. We've got the best quarterback ever coming back in 3 weeks. We'll be fine.
Jacoby Power Rankings:
1) Dr. Lawrence
3) Feed & Seed
Here's three things I'll be getting defensive about on Thursday:
1) Malcolm Butler - Is Butler as good as Darrelle Revis in his prime? No, don't be silly. (Conversely, even Revis isn't Revis anymore...) But he is really, really good. He's the best non-Revis CB we've had since Ty Law. Plus Butler hits harder.
2) Dont'a Hightower - Are you in or out this week Dont'a? We need you, Buddy.
3) Chris Long - Seems like they're using him sparingly, but he's been showing up all over the place. Effective!
FREE AGENT WATCH: Has Malcolm Butler, Jamie Collins or Dont'a Hightower been resigned yet? Not yet!
Did Malcolm Mitchell have a catch last week? Aww yiss.
My prediction: Pats 21, Texans 24
This week we have Fake Josh McDaniels filling for Fake Bill Belichick.
Bros and Lady Bros... Ol' Josh is DIALED IN.
No Tommy? No Jimmy?
No problem. Still 2 - 0. This train just keeps on rolling.
Once again... Josh made all the right calls. We still won despite the defense taking a nap instead of playing the second half, If that happens again this week, I'm going to walk over to Matty P. and give him a noogie on national TV.
Rookie Jacoby Brissett went 6 for 9 (heh heh) in limited action last week. He'll be even better this week.
Or maybe I'll let Edelman throw a few passes just to shut him up. Or maybe I'll just pull some guy out of the stands at halftime and have him play QB for the second half. All things are possible with this offense.
Also, don't ever let Bill O'Brien borrow your car. It'll come back smelling like Burger King and farts.
Until next time... take it easy, Brahs.
JAY MICK DEE OUT.