Thursday Morning Third Down Back

The 10 - 2 New England Patriots play Brian Hoyer and the 6 - 6 Houston Texans at NRG Stadium on Sunday December 13th at 8:30 PM. Chris Harper was probably cut on the flight home from Denver. Who's left?  Do we have anyone left?  Scott Chandler?  Oh, OK. We should start getting people back healthy just in time to ramp up for the playoffs.  I'm not even that concerned about the losses over the last two weeks.  I'm just relieved we didn't lose Gronk for the whole year. Can we just sit everyone for the next 4 games and be healthy for the playoffs?  What if we wrapped everyone in bubble wrap before they took the field?  That's allowed, right? James Power Rankings: 1) Rick 2) Earl Jones 3) T Kirk 4) White 5) McAvoy Here's three things I'll be watching on Sunday night: 1) LeGarrette Blount - Would you believe Blount is averaging 4.2 yards per carry this year?  It's true!  And yet something just feels off there. 2) Malcom Brown -

The 10 - 0 New England Patriots play Peyton Manning  Brock Osweiler and the 8 - 2 Denver Broncos at Sports Authority Field at Mile High on Sunday November 29th at 8:30 PM. I was going to give you the standard list of reasons why Brady is better than Manning... But now we're facing Brock Osweiler instead.  Could he be better than Brady?  We just don't know.  This Osweiler guy has never lost a game. Game balls to Rob Ninkovich and Dont'a Hightower for the win against the Bills.  The defense has been good this season.  Way better than I expected given the losses of Revis and Wilfork. Me vs. Pecan Pie (-3.5) Malcolm Power Rankings: 1) Butler 2) Prince of Cumberland 3) Jamal Warner 4) X 5) in the Middle Here's three things I'm thankful for this week: 1) Rob Gronkwoski - Possibly the last remaining receiver that Brady trusts.  If I'm Denver, I put 4 - 5 guys on him. 2) James White - He's no Dion Lewis, but he showed signs of life la

The 7 - 0 New England Patriots play Kirk Cousins and the 3 - 4 Washington Professional Football Team at Gillette on Sunday November 8th at 1:00 PM. Game balls to Tom Brady and Dion Lewis for last week's game against Miami.  Dion Lewis is delightful to watch. Oh my. Here's three things I'll be watching for on Sunday: 1) Stephen Gostkowski - Consistently excellent.  Probably deserves more credit than he gets.  Did you know he's the Patriots' all-time leading scorer?  He is!  The more you know. 2) Bryan Stork - Getting The Stork back this week.  Alright alright. 3) No third thing this week. Did Scott Chandler get flagged for offensive pass interference last week?  No! Did Michael Williams have a catch last week?  No! Dramatic music. My prediction: Pats 35, Washington Professional Football Team 17 ***** This week we have Fake Josh McDaniels's Movie Corner for your reading pleasure. What up, Bros and Lady Bros? Had an extra day of

The 6 - 0 New England Patriots play Ryan Tannehill and the 3 - 3 Miami Dolphins at Gillette on Thursday October 29th at 8:25 PM. (That's two weeks in a row playing teams lead by Ryans.  That's got to be some kind of record, right?  I'll contact the folks over at Elias Sports Bureau.) Good Week 7 win over a surprisingly not at all terrible Jets team.  They might be for real this year. Game balls to Danny Amendola and Dont'a Hightower.  Those guys were all over the place. Robert Gronkowski: Difficult to Tackle Lewis Power Rankings: 1) and Clark 2) Huey 3) Dion 4) Reggie 5) Mo Here's three things I'll be watching for on Thursday night: 1) Dolphins D-Line - Their biggest strength will be going up against our biggest weakness.  Level of concern: moderate to high.  Spooktacular. 2) Dropped Balls - So many dropped balls last week.  It was worse than a locker room full of old guys. 3) Running Backs - Will the Patriots run the ball at all

The 5 - 0 New England Patriots play Ryan Fitzpatrick and the 4 -1 New York Jets (Really?  Is that right?  That can't be right.) at Gillette on Sunday October 25th at 1:00 PM. I love this picture. I do not love this picture. I was hoping for a blowout last week.  But somehow, what happened was even better .  The Colts gave us one of the most memorable plays in years last week.  Of course I'm talking about the Swinging Gate Fake Punt play .  (Also... Who calls a fake punt in their own end in the fourth quarter when they're behind?) How does it compare to the infamous Butt Fumble play? Butt Fumble vs Swinging Gate Fake Punt* Hilarious Yes Absolutely Play called by coach Maybe (but probably not) Definitely Should somebody be fired Eh, not really Probably Prominently featured butts Yes No *shoutout to LA Mike for facilitating this conversation.  That's why I call him The Facilitator. Here's three things I'll be watching

The 4 - 0 New England Patriots travel to Lucas Oil Stadium to take on Andrew Luck (?) and the 3 - 2 Indianapolis Colts on Sunday October 18th at 8:30 PM. (The game starts at 8:30?!  Oh man... I'm going to be tired Monday morning.) I love this picture. Max Power Rankings: 1) Max Power 2) Mad Max 3) Max Bialystock 4) IMAX 5) Max von Sydow ... 11,997) Max and Ruby Here's three things I'll be watching closely on Sunday: 1) Left Tackle - Nate Solder is done for the year.  I find him average at best, but it's never good when one your starters go down. 2) Corners - It's Malcolm Butler and... Some other guys?  I don't even know anymore.  I'm afraid of facing a team with multiple good receivers. 3) Julian Edelman (again) - I just wanted an excuse to post this gif  of Edelman breaking ankles. With Hoomanawanui gone, who will we affectionately deride around these parts for their modest productivity? I nominate 6' 6", 304 l

The 3 - 0 New England Patriots travel to AT&T Stadium to take on Tony Romo Brandon Weeden and the 2 - 2 Dallas Cowboys Sunday October 11th at 4:25 PM. I love this picture. Season Power Rankings: 1) Spring 2) Fall 3) Summer 4) ... 5) Winter Here's three things I liked so far this season (we're down to three things this year... inflation and whatnot...): 1) Aaron Dobson is off to a semi-decent start.  (Yes!  Really!  Seven catches against Buffalo!  That's more passes than he caught in all of 2014.) 2) Dion Lewis is your rushing leader through the first three games.  Lewis has been nothing short of a revelation at RB.  Please hold on to the ball. 3) Julian Edelman has been on fire to start the season.  The Patriots are now 2 - 0 when I wear the Edelman t-shirt. Did Michael Hoomanawanui have a catch last week? No, silly.  He got traded to New Orleans. My prediction: Pats 34, Cowboys 21 ***** This week we have Fake Matt Patricia filli

The Patriots beat the Seahawks 28 - 24 on February 1st, 2015 to win their 4th NFL Championship. It was one of the best Super Bowls you'll ever see. One last thought: Brady was straight fire in the 4th quarter.   13 of 15 for 2 TDs (and 8 of 8 on the last drive).  Against the #1 defense in football. If Seattle simply runs the ball at the 1, instead we're talking about how Brady just couldn't win the big game in the second half of his career. 4 - 2 in the Super Bowl sounds much much better than 3 - 3. So... Thank you, Malcolm Butler. Amazing.

The Patriots play Super Bowl XLIX at University of Phoenix Stadium against the Seattle Seahawks on Sunday, February 1 at 6:30 PM. Thanks for coming along for the ride.  It's been an entertaining season. Avast, me Hearties!   Hide your MILFs.   Be doing yer job.    With the exception of maybe the 2007 team, this is the most talented Patriots team of the last 10 years.  And unlike the last time this team was in the Super Bowl, they appear to be relatively healthy.  I really hope they can cash one in. Some or all of these guys will need to have big games on Sunday for the Patriots to win: 1) Tom Brady 2) Julian Edelman 3) Rob Gronkowski (and if Seattle sells out to take Edelman and Gronkowski away, Blount, LaFell and Amendola (gulp) will need to step up) 4) Darrelle Revis and 5) Chandler Jones / Rob Ninkovich. And hopefully we end up somewhere under 37 pass interference flags on Brandon Browner. That's pretty much it. Did Michael Hoomanawanui have a catch last

The Patriots play the AFC Championship Game at Gillette against the Indianapolis Colts on Sunday January 18th and 6:40 PM Are the Colts a tough match-up?  Of course they are.  I'm not overlooking them at all. BUT (big butt?) ... I'd be lying if I said the Ravens didn't scare me a whole bunch more than these Colts.  So I'm glad that one is behind us. An Army that carries the Gronk before it... is invincible. (Also...  Excellent Manningfreude last week!) Who's the Boss? Power Rankings: 5) Jonathan 4) Angela 3) Tony 2) Samantha 1) Mona (That show ran for 8 YEARS?!  Holy crap.) Here are five guys I'll be watching this week: 1) Julian Edelman - That pass to Amendola was just filthy.  If Amendola had dropped that one, I personally would have gone to Patriots training camp every day next year with a "Cut Amendola" sign. 2) Darrelle Revis - He ended up being pretty fantastic this year.  The refs must have been confused without B