Sunday, December 14, 2014

Five Things to Watch This Week - Week 15

The Patriots play their fourteenth game of the year at Gillette Stadium against the Miami Dolphins on Sunday December 14th at 1:00 PM.

This is it, guys.  The last stretch of games before the playoffs.

Also... No more late night games.  Which is good for older fans like me.  Waking up on a Monday morning after a late game is awful.  Oh, how I love you, 1 PM games!

Nice Big Boy win on the road last week.  Game balls to Julian Edelman and Jamie Collins.  That dude was everywhere last week.

Agent Cooper says good win last week

Here are five guys I'm excited to watch this week:

1) Tom Brady - Does anyone ever remember seeing Brady move around in the pocket as much as he has this year?  I'm not saying he's Randall Cunningham or anything like that.  But he's definitely gotten better at moving his feet.  That's not usually a skill you add at 37.

2 - 4) LeGarrette Blount / Jonas Gray / Shane Vereen - My sources tell me the Dolphins are vulnerable against the run (Source: source(s)), so I wouldn't be surprised to see the Patriots running game get back on track this week.  Also... Has anyone seen Jonas Gray?

5) Brandon Bolden - EXCELLENT blocked punt last week.

My prediction: Pats 27, Dolphins 17

This week we have Fake Josh McDaniels filling for Fake Bill Belichick.

What up, Bros and Lady Bros?

Ol' Josh is usually a pretty creative guy.  But when I needed an idea for Bill's Christmas present this year, I was drawing blanks.

What do you get for the guy who hates everything?

I summoned Tom and Matt to my office immediately.

     Me: OK... You guys are the closest thing I have to friends around here.  Hit me up with some ideas for Christmas Presents for The Bill.

     Matt: How about The Complete Frank Miller Batman?

     Me: What's that?

     Matt: Seriously?  Batman!  Graphic novels!  In hardcover!  Miller's classic re-imagining of the great American super hero that ushered in the current golden age of super heroes!

     Me: You're kidding, right?  This is supposed to be present for BILL, not for YOU.

     Tom: How about a house?  We could buy him a house.

     Me: Uh huh.

     Tom: If we each throw in a million, we could get him a nice place on Cape Ann or something.

     Me: ...

     Tom: They've got a great little salt water taffy place right on the water in Rockport.

     Me: ...

     Tom: No?  You guys don't like salt water taffy?

     Matt: How about that place at the mall that does hot dogs wrapped in pretzels?  They have a gold card option.  Unlimited pretzel dogs!

     Me: OK... Out of here.  Both of you.  You're not helping.  And take that TB12 hat off.  You look like a tool.

Why do I even bother, you guys?

Once again, I'd have to solve this problem by myself.

Saturday, December 6, 2014

Five Things to Watch This Week - Week 14

The Patriots play their thirteenth game of the year at Qualcomm Stadium against the San Diego Chargers on Sunday December 7th at 8:30 PM.

Late Game, everyone.  Try to take a nap on Sunday afternoon if you can.  Unless you live on the West Coast.  I assume you people already sleep 12 hours a day.

Gronk Richshaw

I'm not saying I feel good about it...  There's no such thing as a good loss.  But that loss to Green Bay was at least acceptable.  Non-conference game.  Tough opponent.  On the road.

If you told me the defense would hold the Packers to 26 points at home, I'd haven taken that and been happy with it.

BUT... It took the offense way too long to get in gear.  Still not sure why we couldn't (or wouldn't) run the ball against Green Bay.

Powers Rankings:

1) Austin

2) Boothe

3) Mighty Morphin

4) Super

5) Stefanie

Here are five guys I'm hoping can play on Sunday:

1) Dont'a Hightower - Definitely not a bust.  I may have been too harsh on him last year.  He's having a really good year.  Hope he can go on Sunday.

2) Julian Edelman - Is he hurt, too?  Aww crap.

3) Brandon LaFell - 53 catches and 7 TDs on the year.  He's having a sneaky good season.  Wait... He's hurt, too?  Jeesh.  That was a costly game last week.

4) Chandler Jones - Rumored to be possibly sorta maybe making a return this week.  That would be helpful.

5) Darrelle Revis and Brandon Browner - It's amazing how much having 2 good corners completely changes the rest of the defense.  I hope they find a way to bring Revis back next year.

Did Michael Hoomanawanui have a catch last week?

Awww Yiss.

Was Aaron Dobson put on season ending IR last week?


(Prediction - Aaron Dobson is never heard from again.)

My prediction: Pats 31, Chargers 24


This week we have Fake Matt Patricia filling for Fake Bill Belichick.

Hello Carbon Based Lifeforms.  Hope your Holiday Shopping is going well.

(Which reminds me... I need to pick up wine and mixed nuts for my Saturnalia celebration next week.)

I'm at the gym on the treadmill.  I've got my headphones on.  Current music: Metropolis Pt.2: Scenes From A Memory.  I need to be transported to other worlds when I work out.

Because otherwise... I just start thinking about the food I'm going to eat when I'm done.  And I'm probably overestimating the number of calories I'm burning.  Thus negating the benefits of getting exercise in the first place.

Pecan pie.  Pulled pork.  Potatoes.  Pancakes.

I forgot where I was going with this story, but... Mmm... Pancakes.

Until next time...