Thursday, April 26, 2012

Thursday Morning Third Down Back Presents: Special 2012 NFL Draft Edition Fake Bill Belichick

Draft Day - 2005.  I'm rocking out to a pre-release copy of the new White Stripes album (ed. note - "Get Behind Me Satan").  It's no Bon Jovi... but it's still pretty good, I guess.

Theo Epstein from the Red Sox is sitting in with us in our Draft Room. 

We've got the 32nd pick in the first round (again), so there's a lot of sitting around waiting for the Buffaloes and Jacksonvilles and Minnesotas of the world to get their heads out of their asses.

I mention to Theo that I'm thinking tight end with the first pick.

Anyway, the Steelers take Heath Miller off the board at #30 and Theo starts chirping.

"Wait... I thought Heath Miller was your guy."

"Yeah.  He's going to be good.  And I love drafting tight ends."

"And the Steelers just took him."

"Yeah.  So?"

"They're your rivals!  Your mortal enemies!"

"Pretty much."

"Why aren't you flipping out over this?  Why aren't you throwing chairs?"

"Relax, kid.  There's still plenty of other good players to take."

"And you're not going to have your owner hold a press conference declaring the game to be rigged and unfair?"

"What would the point of that be?  That just makes us look bad."

He then stands up and tries to flip the table over.  Puh-lease.  I had them bolt all the tables down.  I'd seen Parcells pull that trick one too many times.

Theo's a good kid, but a bit of a hot head.  Eventually he calmed down.  He was way more upset than I was.

Anyway... My philosophy is you're never just one guy away.  You're better off spreading your bets around.  I think he saw the point I was trying to make, but I'm not really sure.  You've got to let them figure these things out on their own sometimes.

Oh... And that was the year I had to draft Matt Cassel because I lost a bet with Pete Carroll...  But that's a different story.