Thursday Morning Third Down Back

The New England Patriots play Tua Tagovailoa and the Miami Dolphins at Gillette Stadium on Sunday September 17th at 8:20 PM. Jabrill Peppers gave them a chance. Rough loss in week 1. Despite a horrific first quarter, they were in that game late. And they couldn't close it out. No moral victories. Bloom Power Rankings: 1) In 2) County 3) Bialystock and 4) Rachel 5) Orlando ... 11,997) Chaim Here are three things I wasn't particularly excited about last week: 1) The offense coming up small when the game was on the line. The defense gave them a chance. I'm seeing a pattern here. 2) The continued streak of being unable to win when the other team scores 25 points. 3) Giving away the ball. "We don't want it. You take it!" Did the Patriots score 20 points last week? Just barely. 2010s Jam of the Week The Joy Formidable - Whirring My prediction: Dolphins 34, Patriots 14 ***** This week we have Bill O'Brien, Reluctant Dungeon Master. Why is there so much text here?

The New England Patriots play Jalen Hurts and the Philadelphia Eagles at Gillette Stadium on Sunday September 10th at 4:25 PM. With the Dolphins, Bills and even the (gulp)  Jets all trending upward, and the Patriots shopping for offensive linemen at the TJ Maxx close out rack, this could be a very  long season. In five short years, we've gone from "Can we just skip ahead to the AFC Championship Game already?" to "Boy, it sure would be swell to win a playoff game again someday!" Based on what I saw in the preseason, I think we're looking at an above average defense and a below average offense. This is maybe a   6 and 11 team.  I have no idea how I'm going to get through this year. I knew the post-Brady transition was going to be hard... But I just didn't think it would be managed this poorly. As such, we'll be slowly transitioning this little weekly fan newsletter into a support group.  Just a quick reminder of what last season looked like. Gene p

The New England Patriots play Zach Wilson and the New York Jets at Gillette Stadium on Sunday November 20th at 1:00 PM. (Not Zach Wilson, but this picture still kills me.) If the season ended today... that would be really weird. BUT ALSO... the 2022 Patriots would somehow be in the playoffs. The bad news is the schedule looks fairly unpleasant from here on out (ugh, we still have to play the Bills twice? Who thought that was a good idea?) With the season 52.9% over, let's hand out some mid-season grades! Offense overall: D- Sloppy and unpleasant to watch. Like me eating a piece of pie. Offensive coaching: D- Something has to change. Soon. This doesn't really seem sustainable in its current configuration. Offensive line: D  M. Night Shyamalan thinks this line has too many obvious holes. Quarterback: D- I liked it better when we had the best quarterback of all time for two decades instead of Three and Out Jones. Not to put it all on Mac -- the line and the coaching have been s

The New England Patriots play Justin Fields and the Chicago Bears at Gillette Stadium on Monday October 24th at 8:15 PM. Belly Rubs Game ball to the defense. Two good games in a row! (Against horrible, horrible teams...) Bob Power Rankings: 1) 's Burgers 2) Silent 3) Sideshow 4) Balaban 5) Kraft Here are five guys I really had fun watching last week: 1) Rhamondre Stevenson - Having a great season so far. He looks like the real deal. 2) Bailey Zappe - Even if he doesn't get to play another snap this season, it's been a fun ride.  I can't wait to see the Patriots turn Bailey Zappe into a second round pick that later becomes a 3rd round pick and two 6th rounders. 3) Tyquan Thornton - Two touchdowns! One on the ground and one in the air. The dude was fast . Immediate contributions from rookies! Who'd have thunk it? 4) and 5) Hunter Henry and Jonnu Smith - The tight ends even showed up last week! Good game all around. Did the Patriots score 20 points last week? Yes! 90s

The New England Patriots play Jared Goff and the Detroit Lions at Gillette Stadium on Sunday October 9th at 1:00 PM Ad domum. Cool Dad's Club Meeting tonight 9:00 - 9:05 PM   - Fall clean up projects (good)   - Winterizing your house (good)   - Red Sox not in the playoffs (not good) Bailey Power Rankings: 1) 's Irish Cream 2) George 3) Beetle 4) Zappe Here are three things that didn't completely suck in the loss to the Packers: 1) Bailey Zappe - Nobody is saying he's the second coming of Brady or anything, but I thought he played well under the circumstances. I don't think they would have been in it right up until the last minute with Hoyer under center. 2) Matt Patricia - The play calling was less horrible last week. 3) Jack Jones - Do we love to see a rookie corner with a pick six? We do! Did the Patriots score 20 points last week? Yes! 90s Jam of the Week Lush - Superblast! My prediction: Patriots 31, Lions 30 ***** This week we have Fake Matt Patricia. And why n

The New England Patriots play Aaron Rodgers and the Green Bay at Lambeau Field on Sunday October 2nd at 4:25 PM. For an all timer, shouldn't Rodgers have been to more than one Super Bowl by now? [Book promotion: book 5 out now  - The Lady in the Leaves . Free on your Kindle if you've got The Prime.   Otherwise just 99 cents. Cheap!] Hold on. It's about to get bumpy. It looked like Mac Jones got hurt pretty bad late last week. The Patriots are saying "day to day", but I'll be shocked if he's out less than six weeks. The slim chance of the Patriots making the playoffs this season is juuuust about closed. It's probably OK to not watch the game this week. Go spend time with your family! Or if you don't like your family that much, go spend time with somebody else's family!  You're freeeeeee! If Mac is out for a while, long time boring person Brian Hoyer will probably get the nod (But he knows the offense!) . Here are five guys I'd rather see