Skip to main content

Three Things to Watch This Week - Week 1

The New England Patriots play Jalen Hurts and the Philadelphia Eagles at Gillette Stadium on Sunday September 10th at 4:25 PM.

With the Dolphins, Bills and even the (gulp) Jets all trending upward, and the Patriots shopping for offensive linemen at the TJ Maxx close out rack, this could be a very long season. In five short years, we've gone from "Can we just skip ahead to the AFC Championship Game already?" to "Boy, it sure would be swell to win a playoff game again someday!" Based on what I saw in the preseason, I think we're looking at an above average defense and a below average offense. This is maybe a 6 and 11 team.  I have no idea how I'm going to get through this year. I knew the post-Brady transition was going to be hard... But I just didn't think it would be managed this poorly. As such, we'll be slowly transitioning this little weekly fan newsletter into a support group. 

Just a quick reminder of what last season looked like.

Gene power rankings:

1) Wilder
2) Rayburn
3) Hackman
4) Belcher
5) Gene the Dancing Machine
6) Roddenberry
7) Siskel
8) -eration X
9) Tierney
10) -eneral Hospital 

Three things I'm talking myself into getting excited about this season:

1) Maybe the offense will be slightly better under Billy O than Matty P! Can't be worse, right?

2) Kendrick Bourne - I expect more out of Bourne this season, especially now he's not openly feuding with the offensive coordinator.

3) New kickers! We'll be watching both a new punter (Bryce Baringer - not a member of The National) AND a new place kicker (Chad Ryland) this season.  This feels like an awful lot of trust to be placing in young players - possibly the biggest hint that Belichick thinks this is not a playoff year.


2010s Jam of the Week

The War On Drugs - Holding On


My prediction: Eagles 37, Patriots 17

*****

This week we have Fake Morrissey giving us his 2023 Patriots season preview.


The rain falls hard on a humdrum team

This team has dragged me down

Oh, the rain falls hard on a humdrum team

History has dragged us down

Oh no, and everybody's got to live their life

And God knows I've got to live mine

God knows I've got to live mine

William, William, last year's team was... really nothing

William, William Stephen Belichick, it was really not something I enjoyed watching

William, William, ooooh-oh-oooooooooh


(to the tune of "William, It Was Really Nothing", with apologies to The Smiths)

*****

Now accepting mailbag questions.

Additional ebooks by P. Canole available here:

https://pcanole.blogspot.com/

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Three Things to Watch This Week - Week 2

The New England Patriots play Geno Smith and the Seattle Seahawks at Gillette Stadium on Sunday September 15th at 1:00 PM. Rhamondre was running through dudes. Considering how low my expectations were for week 1 and the season in general, I'm going to classify that first game as "delightful". Can you win with a conservative, run first offense and an aggressive defense in 2024? Maybe! HBO David Show Runners Power Rankings: 1) Chase 2) Simon 3) Milch 4) Larry 5) Benioff Here are three things that were pretty good in week 1: 1) Rhamondre Stevenson - Game ball for Stevenson. I know we're in an era where the running game has been deprecated, but he's an absolute beast. 2) Jacoby Brissett - He's never going to blow anyone away, but just being "steady" and "adequate" felt like a huge improvement over what we saw last season. 3) The offensive line took a huge leap from what we saw in the pre-season. Thanks, David Andrews! Dad Rock Jam of the Week ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Three Things to Watch This Week - Week 6

The 1 - 4 New England Patriots play C.J. Stroud and the Houston Texans at Gillette Stadium on Sunday October 13th at 1:00 PM. They really should stop buttering the ball between plays. That Patriots - Dolphins game last week was one of the worst things I've ever seen. Let's never speak of it again. The Patriots have announced third overall pick Drake Maye as the starting quarterback this week. I feel like it's too soon. But it's not my job on the line. I'll be nice and cozy on the couch with snacks and beverages and a dog that will pick the absolute worst time to decide that he has to go out. Drake Power Rankings: 1) 's Cakes 2) (the duck)  3) (the singer from Canada) 4) Gilded 5) Maye Here are three things that could have been better in week 5: 1) Jacoby Brissett. Thank you for your contributions. I appreciate your effort. I'm not sure how you're still standing. 2) The play calling had me scratching my head on multiple occasions. 3) The whole WR position...
Post a Comment
Read more

Three Things to Watch This Week - Week 4

The 1 - 2 New England Patriots play Brock Purdy and the San Francisco 49ers at Levi's Stadium on Sunday September 29th at 4:05 PM. I would very much like to go back to watching fancy football. We're downgrading this team from "surprisingly frisky" to "potentially another lost season" after last week. There's just too far to go for this offense. Watch this space for additional updates Wilson Power Rankings: 1) How to with John 2) Luke 3) Thomas F. 4) Ann and Nancy 5) Marco 6) Eugene 7) Pickett 8) The Volleyball 9) Patrick 10) Owen 11) Rita Here are three things that I did not care for in week 3: 1) Poor Jacoby Brissett is getting absolutely beat up out there. I feel for the guy.  We have not put him in a good situation. 2) Punts. So many punts. 3) Aaron Rodgers. Maybe not dead yet? Dad Rock Jam of the Week Faith No More - Falling to Pieces Did the Patriots score 20 points last week?  My brothers and sisters in The Force, you know they did not. My predict...
Post a Comment
Read more