The New England Patriots play Tua Tagovailoa and the Miami Dolphins at Gillette Stadium on Sunday September 17th at 8:20 PM.
Jabrill Peppers gave them a chance.
Rough loss in week 1. Despite a horrific first quarter, they were in that game late. And they couldn't close it out. No moral victories.
Bloom Power Rankings:
1) In
2) County
3) Bialystock and
4) Rachel
5) Orlando
...
11,997) Chaim
Here are three things I wasn't particularly excited about last week:
1) The offense coming up small when the game was on the line. The defense gave them a chance. I'm seeing a pattern here.
2) The continued streak of being unable to win when the other team scores 25 points.
3) Giving away the ball. "We don't want it. You take it!"
Did the Patriots score 20 points last week?
Just barely.
2010s Jam of the Week
My prediction: Dolphins 34, Patriots 14
*****
This week we have Bill O'Brien, Reluctant Dungeon Master.
Why is there so much text here? Am I supposed to memorize all this? You've all got your playbooks... er... character sheets?
OK. You're trying to move the party carrying the, uh, Dragon's Egg, down the field to penetrate your opponent's fortress defenses.
Why are you attacking directly into that line of goblins, Jones? Try to throw where the goblins aren't. Go around them. Just follow the game plan I laid out for you, OK? It's not that hard. Jeez.
What do you mean you "can't throw the egg more than 10 yards in a single turn"? What is that garbage?
"Magical items"? What the hell is that?
Uh... what to do here? Let's say... roll a 6 or better to get this first down, er, experience points.
OK, that's enough for today. What are we even doing here? GET OUT OF MY DUNGEON. Go take a lap.
Patricia really did this with you guys every Friday night, huh?
*****
Additional ebooks by P. Canole available here:
https://pcanole.blogspot.com/
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