Skip to main content

Three Things to Watch This Week - Week 2

The New England Patriots play Tua Tagovailoa and the Miami Dolphins at Gillette Stadium on Sunday September 17th at 8:20 PM.

Jabrill Peppers gave them a chance.

Rough loss in week 1. Despite a horrific first quarter, they were in that game late. And they couldn't close it out. No moral victories.

Bloom Power Rankings:

1) In

2) County

3) Bialystock and

4) Rachel

5) Orlando

...

11,997) Chaim


Here are three things I wasn't particularly excited about last week:

1) The offense coming up small when the game was on the line. The defense gave them a chance. I'm seeing a pattern here.

2) The continued streak of being unable to win when the other team scores 25 points.

3) Giving away the ball. "We don't want it. You take it!"


Did the Patriots score 20 points last week?

Just barely.


2010s Jam of the Week

The Joy Formidable - Whirring


My prediction: Dolphins 34, Patriots 14

*****

This week we have Bill O'Brien, Reluctant Dungeon Master.

Why is there so much text here? Am I supposed to memorize all this? You've all got your playbooks... er... character sheets?

OK. You're trying to move the party carrying the, uh, Dragon's Egg, down the field to penetrate your opponent's fortress defenses.

Why are you attacking directly into that line of goblins, Jones? Try to throw where the goblins aren't. Go around them. Just follow the game plan I laid out for you, OK? It's not that hard. Jeez.

What do you mean you "can't throw the egg more than 10 yards in a single turn"? What is that garbage?

"Magical items"? What the hell is that? 

Uh... what to do here? Let's say... roll a 6 or better to get this first down, er, experience points.

OK, that's enough for today. What are we even doing here? GET OUT OF MY DUNGEON. Go take a lap.

Patricia really did this with you guys every Friday night, huh?

*****

Additional ebooks by P. Canole available here:

https://pcanole.blogspot.com/

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Five Things to Watch This Week - Week 1 (Game 1)

The Patriots play their first regular season game at LP Field against the Tennessee Titans on Sunday September 9th at 1:00 PM. So... Um... Yeah.  Let's not get too hung up on how last season ended... It's a new year.  Like Coach Belichick says... We're focusing on next week.  We're moving on. It's also an election year.  Republican or Democrat...  Liberal or Conservative...  Let's not lose sight of the one thing that unites us all...  That the Jets are horrible. Gronk seems to be enjoying the benefits of being famous. Let's dive right in! The Patriots signed both Gronkowski AND Hernandez to long term deals ( ed. note - phew ) in the off-season.   They also added extra Tight Ends Jake Ballard, Daniel Fells, Michael Hoomanawanui and Visanthe Shiancoe. At this rate, we'll soon be fielding the NFL's first ALL TIGHT END OFFENSE!  (It's the logical next step in the evolution of the game...) Josh McDaniels - Welcome back!  You...
Post a Comment
Read more

Three Things to Watch This Week - Week 1

The first place New England Patriots play the Oakland   Los Angeles   Oakland  Las Vegas Raiders at Gillette on Sunday September 7th at 1:00 PM. Patriot first round pick tackle Will Campbell. Douglas Power Rankings: 1) Adams 2) DeMario 3) Michael  4) The Lincoln–Douglas debates 5) Illeana  After back to back 4 - 13 seasons, you are allowed to feel a little skeptical about this team. What do we, as Patriots fans, have to look forward to in 2025? Returning:  Executive vice president of player personnel Eliot Wolf is somehow still here. Last year, the two wide receivers he drafted in 2024 combined for 13 catches. And one of them is no longer with the team. I'm against it. Coach Mike Vrabel. His career record as a coach is 56–48. This was seen as a significant upgrade over what we had in place. Offensive Coordinator Josh McDaniels. He's back! Again! Not returning: Coach Jerod Mayo. It was both a bad situation AND he didn't do a great job with it. That's ba...
Post a Comment
Read more

2025 Three Things to Watch This Week - Week 2

The last place New England Patriots play the Miami Dolphins at Hard Rock Stadium on Sunday September 14th at 1:00 PM. They should have kept Jakobi. Joy Power Rankings 1) Anya Taylor 2) Formidable 3) of Cooking 4) Division 5) to the World I don't know what I was expecting for the first game under the new regime, but that wasn't it. Was there anything to feel good about last week? Here's what I've got off the top of my head. 1) Kayshon Boutte had a solid six catches for 103. That's nice! 2) Free agent signing Harold Landry had two and a half sacks in his Patriots debut. 3) Maybe we'll have a top five pick again next year. Also... lots of 1:00 PM games this season. Nice early bed times for everyone. Did the Patriots score 20 points? They did not! Days since the Patriots last score 30 points in a game: 1,063 days (I kid you not.) My prediction: Pats 9, Dolphins 37 *** Thursday Morning Third Down Back is pleased to welcome back special guest columnist Pinhead to shar...
Post a Comment
Read more