Skip to main content

Five Things to Watch This Week - PLAYOFFS!


The Patriots play their first playoff game of the season at Gillette against the Houston Texans on Sunday January 13th at 4:30 PM.

You excited?  I'm excited.

It's supposed to be upper 40s mid-50s here on Sunday.  So much for our outdoor home field advantage in January against a southern team.  On other hand... Fire up the grill!



***fart noise***


Fictional Dad Power Rankings:

1) Frank Costanza, "Seinfeld"

2) Randy Marsh, "South Park"

3) Kirk Van Houten, "The Simpsons"

4) Professor Henry Jones, "Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade"

5) Royal Tenenbaum, "The Royal Tenenbaums"


Here's five things I'll be watching for this week:

1) Stevan Ridley - Please hang on to the football... Please hang on to the football... Please hang on to the football...

2) Vince Wilfork - Just had one of his best seasons ever.  I love the Big Man.

3) Rob Gronkowski - Don't forget the Patriots beat the Texans last time without Gronk.  If he's anywhere close to 100%, the Texans are effed.

4) Aaron Hernandez - I'm guessing he gets a lot of touches this week, but that's just a hunch.

5) Devin McCourty - I feel much better about Devin McCourty, Safety than Devin McCourty, Cornerback.


Did Michael Hoomanawanui have a catch this week?

No.

/sad trombone

(Total number of catches for the year... 5!)


Did Donte Stallworth get a flu shot this week?

No.


My prediction: Pats 45, Texans 14

I like New England this week.  A lot.

Nut up or move on.


*****


This year, we're going to have regular contributions from Fake Bill Belichick for your reading pleasure.  Here's this week's selection from Fake Bill Belichick's second book "My Patriot Years":

Dropped off my car to get an oil change on the bye week.  The guy at the counter asks me for my keys and what my mileage is.

His voice sounded awfully familiar.  I look up... and it's Scott Pioli.

He seemed pretty depressed.  Should I say anything?  I'll wait until I'm checking out.

It took a pretty long time for a oil change.

     BB: What do you think went wrong?

     SP: At Kansas City?  Well, we went 23-41 while I was there.

     BB: No, I mean with my car...?

     SP: Oh.  I'll go ask the technician.

He comes back 3 minutes later.

     SP: Needed a coolant flush.

     BB: Got it.

     SP: You also need a new air filter.  Do you want us to do that for you?

     BB: Nah, I can do that myself.

Never have the oil change place guys do your air filter.  That's a huge cost savings right there if you can do that yourself.

True story.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Three Things to Watch This Week - Week 2

The New England Patriots play Tua Tagovailoa and the Miami Dolphins at Gillette Stadium on Sunday September 17th at 8:20 PM. Jabrill Peppers gave them a chance. Rough loss in week 1. Despite a horrific first quarter, they were in that game late. And they couldn't close it out. No moral victories. Bloom Power Rankings: 1) In 2) County 3) Bialystock and 4) Rachel 5) Orlando ... 11,997) Chaim Here are three things I wasn't particularly excited about last week: 1) The offense coming up small when the game was on the line. The defense gave them a chance. I'm seeing a pattern here. 2) The continued streak of being unable to win when the other team scores 25 points. 3) Giving away the ball. "We don't want it. You take it!" Did the Patriots score 20 points last week? Just barely. 2010s Jam of the Week The Joy Formidable - Whirring My prediction: Dolphins 34, Patriots 14 ***** This week we have Bill O'Brien, Reluctant Dungeon Master. Why is there so much text here?
Post a Comment
Read more

Three Things to Watch This Week - Week 1

The New England Patriots play Jalen Hurts and the Philadelphia Eagles at Gillette Stadium on Sunday September 10th at 4:25 PM. With the Dolphins, Bills and even the (gulp)  Jets all trending upward, and the Patriots shopping for offensive linemen at the TJ Maxx close out rack, this could be a very  long season. In five short years, we've gone from "Can we just skip ahead to the AFC Championship Game already?" to "Boy, it sure would be swell to win a playoff game again someday!" Based on what I saw in the preseason, I think we're looking at an above average defense and a below average offense. This is maybe a   6 and 11 team.  I have no idea how I'm going to get through this year. I knew the post-Brady transition was going to be hard... But I just didn't think it would be managed this poorly. As such, we'll be slowly transitioning this little weekly fan newsletter into a support group.  Just a quick reminder of what last season looked like. Gene p
Post a Comment
Read more

Three Things to Watch This Week - Week 5

The New England Patriots play Derek Carr and the New Orleans Saints at Gillette Stadium on Sunday October 8th at 1:00 PM. I'd like to thank the Patriots for letting me off the hook early this year. No messing around this time. They are  definitely   not  a playoff team. I'm done talking about Mac Jones. I have nothing nice to say about him. Please don't mention his name to me ever again. "He's good! He just needs better weapons around him!" /throws ball two yards short of wide open receiver Jean-Luc power rankings: 1) Godard 2) Picard If I had to talk myself into it, here are three things I'm feeling kinda sorta OK about this year so far: 1) Some of the rookies have been mostly good, especially Christian Gonzalez.  (And now he's hurt!) 2) Probably going to see a lot more Keion White with Judon going down. 3) Demario Douglas might be good. Just hang on to the football. Did the Patriots score 20 last week? My Brothers and Sisters of Our Lady of the Immac
Post a Comment
Read more