Thursday Morning Third Down Back

The defending Super Bowl Champion New England Patriots play Jay Cutler Matt Moore and the Miami Dolphins at Gillette Stadium on Sunday November 26th at 1:00 PM. Hope your Thanksgiving was this good. Butler Power Rankings: 1) Malcolm 2) Rhett 3) Alfred 4) University 5) Adam Here's three things I liked about last week: 1) Stephen Gostkowski - Gostkowski kicked a 62 yard field goal last week that looked like it would have been good from 70 yards.  Whoa. 2) Tom Brady - Brady started 12 for 12 against Oakland and it was all over early.  Not a ton of suspense last week.  If they go up by four scores again at any point, please take him out and put him in bubble wrap. 3) Brandin Cooks - I still like the Brandin Cooks trade.  Just the right number of Cooks . My prediction: Pats 30, Dolphins 17 ***** This week we have Fake Ivan Fears filling for Fake Bill Belichick. It's me.  Coach Fears.  I've been the running backs coach here i...

The defending Super Bowl Champion New England Patriots play Derek Carr and the Oakland Raiders at Estadio Azteca in Mexico City on Sunday November 19th at 4:25 PM. Deputy Director Cole, Agent Preston and Agent Rosenfield look in on the corpse of the Broncos. Cracker Power Rankings: 1) graham crust 2) -jack 3) Stoned Wheat Thins (underrated!) 4) Kerosene Hat 5) Triscuits (Ritz would have been up here few years ago, but I feel like they've changed the recipe since Kraft sold the brand off.) Looks like we won't have to worry about a playoff game in Denver this year.  Brock Osweiler was not so good for the Broncos last week.  Right after Cris Collinsworth came out with  "He looks sharp out here tonight!", the Brocketship immediately threw this beauty .  Bonus Brock gif!  Watch out, Blue Jacket Guy! Here's three things I liked about last week: 1) Rob Gronkowski - That was definitely  a touchdown. 2) Dion Lewis - Love Dion Lewis....

The defending Super Bowl Champion New England Patriots play Trevor Siemian Brock Osweiler and the Denver Broncos at Sports Authority Field at Mile High on Sunday November 12th and 8:30 PM. Bennett Power Rankings: 1) Martellus 2) Mags 3) Tony 4) Michael 5) Dickie 1) Martellus Bennett - Marty back?  Marty's back!  Woo hoo!  Wait a minute... Source: Bennett has torn rotator cuff, labrum.   Yikes. 2) James White - Still love me some James White.  He's flying under the radar with 43 receptions already. 3) Trey Flowers - Watch Trey get back onsides before San Diego can snap the ball.  That's great hustle! My prediction: Pats 31, Broncos 21 ***** This week we have Fake Josh McDaniels filling for Fake Bill Belichick. What's up, Brolins and Lady Brolins? WE TRADED JIMMY G?  AND THAT'S ALL WE GOT FOR HIM?! Jimmy G was my future.  Bill and Tom were going to retire then Jimmy and me were going to take over and win the next six Super Bowls together. What am ...

The defending Super Bowl Champion New England Patriots play Philip Rivers and the San Diego Los Angeles Chargers at Gillette Stadium on Sunday October 29th at 1:00 PM. We get it.  You vape. Mash Power Rankings: 1) -ed potatoes 2) monster 3) (movie) 4) bill 5) dastardly  We lost Hightower for the season ?  Farts. With inclement weather in the forecast for Sunday, let's focus on the ground game this week: 1) Dion Lewis - I've never seen anyone cut and change direction as fast as he can. 2) James White - He's been fantastic on third downs.  He's like that third bowl of porridge for this offense.  Juuuuust right. 3) Rex Burkhead - Is this the week Burkhead has his breakout game?  Maybe! My prediction:  Patriots 27, Chargers 24 ***** This year, we're going to have regular contributions from Fake Bill Belichick for your reading pleasure. Arrrgh!  It be me, the Dread Pirate Bill. The only thing I love more than ...

The defending Super Bowl Champion New England Patriots play Matt Ryan and the Atlanta Falcons at Gillette Stadium on Sunday October 22nd at 8:30 PM. Not a touchdown Quinn Power Rankings: 1) Mighty 2) Anthony 3) Colin 4) Doctor 5) Harley ... 39) Dan An 8:30 PM game?  Yikes.  I'm not going to be able to watch this ones with my sons Macallan and Lagavulin. I know the Patriots are 4 - 2 but... eh?  I just don't know. I think at this time last week I would have picked the Falcons over the Patriots.  With the revenge factor and whatnot.  But then... the Falcons blew a 17 point lead and lost to the Dolphins?!  For real?  That can't be right. 1) Dont’a Hightower - He doesn't get a ton of them, but Hightower has this strange ability to just go out and get a sack in a really big moment. 2) Dion Lewis - Lewis got some extra work after Mike Gillislee put one on the ground last week.  He deserves more touches. (Just two th...

The defending Super Bowl Champion New England Patriots play Josh McCown and the New York Jets at MetLife Stadium on Sunday October 15th at 1:00 PM. Martin Power Rankings: 1) Chief Brody 2) Scorsese 3) Steve (defensive tackle) 3a) Steve (actor comedian) 4) Short 5) Lawrence 6) George R.R. 7) Starr 8) Freeman 9) Sheen 10) Dean 11) Mull The Patriots won ugly last week.  The good news is... that still counts as a win.  The bad news is that it took 3 missed FGs by the Bucs to seal the deal . I've got to be honest with you.  I felt a little bad for Nick Folk.  Going out there and yakking 3 kicks in front of the home crowd has got to be a horrible feeling. Moving forward.  I'm going to try to be as positive as possible this week. 1) Malcolm Butler - I still feel like he's our best corner.  He's a great tackler.  And he helps out in the run game.  (UPDATE: Stephon Gilmore is out this week.) 2) Brandin Cooks - I ...

The defending Super Bowl Champion New England Patriots play Jameis Winston and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers at Raymond James Stadium on Thursday October 5th at 8:25 PM. What do we think of the defense so far? Marvin Rankings: 1) Suggs 2) Berry (Your cousin! Marvin Berry!) 3) Marvin from  Pulp Fiction (1994) 4) Gaye 5) Lee 6) Hamlisch 7) Windows and Doors 8) Hagler Ooooh boy, that was poor last week.  Not just the last second field goal.  I mean sure, that was rough, too.  But everything leading up to that was ugly.  Can we get one stop on defense? Just one?  Please? Here are three things I'm worried about for Thursday (in addition to the baggage retrieval system they've got at Heathrow): 1) Stephon Gilmore - Did they sign Gilmore to that huge contract just because he's tall?  So far that looks like his only skill. 2) Rob Gronkowski - Every time I see three guys take Gronk down, I'm afraid he's not going to get up again....