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Three Things to Watch This Week - Week 1

 The New England Patriots play Tua Tagovailoa and the Miami Dolphins at Gillette Stadium on Sunday September 12th at 4:25 PM.

In remembrance of David Patten, who seemed like a super good guy and was always fun to watch play.


Jones Power Rankings:

1) Indiana

2) David Robert

3) Forgetful

4) Mr. 

5) Mac

6) Jessica

7) Norah

8) John Paul

9) Davey

10) Howard

11) Tom

12) Jeffrey

13) -town


I'm still somewhat shocked by the Cam Newton cut. I thought for sure we'd see him as the starter for at least the first six weeks. Rumor has it it wasn't the covid protocol violation - it was that he still hadn't learned the offense. Life comes at you fast, I guess.

I have no idea what to expect from Mr. Michael McCorkle "Mac" Jones this year. It'll be fun to find out.  This is the first time the Patriots have taken a quarterback in the first round since Drew Bledsoe if I remember correctly. That was a long time ago, kids. 

I'm guessing this is a nine or ten win team. Then back in contention for a deep playoff run by 2022. And honestly, I'd be fine with that. I think they've bottomed out and are moving in the right direction again. They should be much better than last season on defense.

Here are three parts of the running game I'm excited about for this week:

1) Damien Harris - I'm expecting Harris to be the rock this year. Without the threat of a real passing game last season, defenses were stacking the box. The offense should have another dimension to it this year that will free Harris up.

2) J.J. Taylor - Taylor looked fantastic in the preseason, like an even smaller Dion Lewis. I hope he gets to see the field this year.

3) Rhamondre Stevenson - Stevenson also had an exceptional preseason. Surprising speed for a big back.

And a special Thursday Morning Third Down Back salute to former Patriot Sony Michel, who was an integral part of the 2018 Super Bowl run.


Cookie of the Week


Oatmeal butterscotch. Highly underrated cookie.


British Jam of the Week

David Bowie - Ashes to Ashes (1980)


My prediction: Patriots 21, Dolphins 17

*****

This week we have the absolutely jacked Fake Troy Brown reporting from deep within the World Headquarters of the Patriot Empire.

(hashtag InfoTroys)

Hello Citizens of Patriot Nation.

Not naming any names, BUT... This is what I'm hearing.

I have it on good authority from my sources that a certain veteran quarterback was brought back only so that he could later be cut to make a certain rookie quarterback feel better about himself by beating out said veteran for the starting job. Just a maze of misdirects and misinformation. Your classic False Flag operation.

Next time we'll discuss why chemtrails might actually be a good thing and how the films of Quentin Tarantino can be used to explain the career of Tom Brady. 

Until then, stay vigilant. And clear your browser cache.

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