The Patriots play their second game of the year at TCF Bank Stadium against the Minnesota Vikings on Sunday September 14th at 1:00 PM.
Over the Summer, I was out one Friday night playing cards with my buddies (shout out to Viking Dave).
On the way home, I hit a skunk with the car.
The car smelled bad. Real bad. It took weeks to get the stink out.
...and that's pretty much how I feel about that Week 1 performance against the Dolphins. It's going to take weeks to get the stink of that second half out. We got debacle'd.
Stevan Ridley and Julian Edelman had good games. They get game balls. And that's about it.
Everyone else? F Plus.
Collins Power Rankings:
1) Tom
2) Harper
3) Bartholomew
4) Jamie
5) Phil
Here's five guys I'll be looking for to pick up the slack if the Patriots are going to have a chance against the Vikings this week:
1) Vince Wilfork - Miami ran all over that defense. Vince did not have a good game in the middle.
2) Darrelle Revis - Not a terrible first game, but also not quite what I was expecting from a $12M a year corner.
3) Danny Amendola - Sigh.
4) Patrick Chung - Why is Patrick Chung returning kicks? Good lord. (Also, I think I saw him at IHOP last week. True story.)
5) Brandon LaFell - Zero receptions on 6 targets isn't going to get it done. He's in danger of being this year's Joey Galloway.
Did Michael Hoomanawanui have a catch last week?
No.
/sad trombone
Did Stevan Ridley fumble last week?
No!
My prediction: Pats 27, Vikings 17
*****
This week we have Fake Josh McDaniels filling for Fake Bill Belichick.
What up, Bros and Lady Bros?
Did you watch the pre-season games? The Josh sprinkled a little of the old Magic Dust (TM) on Jimmy Garoppolo. That guy gets it.
Let ME make YOU... a star.
That Mallett kid... I just could never seem to reach him. Maybe because he's so goddamn tall? I don't know.
For the last 3 years, I've told him "See that guy over there? Number 12? That Football God with great hair that walks among us? Go be more like him. Follow him around then report back to me."
And what did I get for my efforts? A big bowl of nothing.
Welp... Not my problem anymore. You either get with the program or you get shipped outta town.
Anyway... If you need more Josh, hit me up on Linder (that's my LinkedIn / Tinder mashup I'm working on with the tech geeks here. It lets you have a workplace affair BEFORE you accept a job at a new company).
Until next time... take it easy, Brahs.
JAY MICK DEE OUT.
Over the Summer, I was out one Friday night playing cards with my buddies (shout out to Viking Dave).
On the way home, I hit a skunk with the car.
The car smelled bad. Real bad. It took weeks to get the stink out.
...and that's pretty much how I feel about that Week 1 performance against the Dolphins. It's going to take weeks to get the stink of that second half out. We got debacle'd.
Stevan Ridley and Julian Edelman had good games. They get game balls. And that's about it.
Everyone else? F Plus.
Collins Power Rankings:
1) Tom
2) Harper
3) Bartholomew
4) Jamie
5) Phil
Here's five guys I'll be looking for to pick up the slack if the Patriots are going to have a chance against the Vikings this week:
1) Vince Wilfork - Miami ran all over that defense. Vince did not have a good game in the middle.
2) Darrelle Revis - Not a terrible first game, but also not quite what I was expecting from a $12M a year corner.
3) Danny Amendola - Sigh.
4) Patrick Chung - Why is Patrick Chung returning kicks? Good lord. (Also, I think I saw him at IHOP last week. True story.)
5) Brandon LaFell - Zero receptions on 6 targets isn't going to get it done. He's in danger of being this year's Joey Galloway.
Did Michael Hoomanawanui have a catch last week?
No.
/sad trombone
Did Stevan Ridley fumble last week?
No!
My prediction: Pats 27, Vikings 17
*****
This week we have Fake Josh McDaniels filling for Fake Bill Belichick.
What up, Bros and Lady Bros?
Did you watch the pre-season games? The Josh sprinkled a little of the old Magic Dust (TM) on Jimmy Garoppolo. That guy gets it.
Let ME make YOU... a star.
That Mallett kid... I just could never seem to reach him. Maybe because he's so goddamn tall? I don't know.
For the last 3 years, I've told him "See that guy over there? Number 12? That Football God with great hair that walks among us? Go be more like him. Follow him around then report back to me."
And what did I get for my efforts? A big bowl of nothing.
Welp... Not my problem anymore. You either get with the program or you get shipped outta town.
Anyway... If you need more Josh, hit me up on Linder (that's my LinkedIn / Tinder mashup I'm working on with the tech geeks here. It lets you have a workplace affair BEFORE you accept a job at a new company).
Until next time... take it easy, Brahs.
JAY MICK DEE OUT.
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