Skip to main content

Five Things to Watch This Week - Week 15

The Patriots play their fourteenth game of the year at Joe Robbie Stadium Pro Player Park Pro Player Stadium Dolphin Stadium Dolphins Stadium Land Shark Stadium Sun Life Stadium against the Miami Dolphins on Sunday December 15 at 1:00 PM.



THAT GUY!  THAT GUY DIDN'T WASH HIS HANDS AFTER USING THE BATHROOM!

Bill Power Rankings:

1) Belichick

2) Murray

3) Clinton

4) Cosby

5) Posters

6) S. Preston, Esq

7) Buffalo

8) Gates

9) Parcells

10) -y dee williams

11) the Cat


Here are five guys who will need to step up this week if the Patriots are going to be beat the Dolphins:

1) Shane Vereen - Another solid week last week.  Believe it or not, he's the team's third leading receiver for the year.  There might still be time to put a Vereen jersey on your Christmas wishlist.

2) Stephen Gostkowski - HOLY CRAP!  ONSIDE KICK!  (Last time the Pats recovered an onside kick was... 1994.)

3) LeGarrette Blount - Considering we got him for almost nothing, he's been quietly putting together a pretty solid season.

4) Matthew Mulligan - Backup tight end with 2 receptions on the season.  Just mentioning him here so you're not yelling "Who is THAT?" when you see #88 on the field on Sunday.

5) Danny Amendola - I haven't really talked about Amendola much this season.  I'm probably still bitter about the Welker thing.  But he's actually been OK when he's been on the field.


BONUS ITEM: Every time the Pats' defense fails to make a play on third down, take a drink.*

(* Note - not responsible if you die from alcohol poisoning. **)

(** Note - Recycled joke.)


Did Michael Hoomanawanui have a catch last week?

No, silly.  He's hurt.

Did Stevan Ridley fumble last week?

No!


My prediction: Pats 28, Dolphins 21

My prediction (Season): 12 - 4

*****

This week we have Fake Josh McDaniels filling for Fake Bill Belichick.

What up, Bros and Lady Bros?

Had to dish out a little discipline this week.  Not my favorite thing to do.  But I'm capable.  Gotta keep the troops in line.

"Edelman!  Get in in my office!"

(Edelman comes running over.)

Josh McDaniels: Take those sunglasses off.  You're inside.

(Edelman takes shades off.  Looks handsomely out the window.)


JM: Why does Ridley think the football is made of lava?  Do you know anything about this?

Julian Edelman (giggling): Uh... No.  I wouldn't know anything about that, Coach.

JM: YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY?

JE: Maybe just a little.

JM:  No more shenanigans!  This ends today.

JE:  Sure.  Whatevs.

JM: I'm serious.

JE: Listen... Can we hurry this up?  We both know you can't afford to bench me.  You NEED me out there. Besides, Brady and I are going for pedicures this afternoon.


(Edelman puts shades on and stylishly walks away)

Dammit if he wasn't right.  He's got leverage.  I need him more than he needs me.

I may not like the handsome bastard.  But I respect him.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Three Things to Watch This Week - Week 2

The New England Patriots play Geno Smith and the Seattle Seahawks at Gillette Stadium on Sunday September 15th at 1:00 PM. Rhamondre was running through dudes. Considering how low my expectations were for week 1 and the season in general, I'm going to classify that first game as "delightful". Can you win with a conservative, run first offense and an aggressive defense in 2024? Maybe! HBO David Show Runners Power Rankings: 1) Chase 2) Simon 3) Milch 4) Larry 5) Benioff Here are three things that were pretty good in week 1: 1) Rhamondre Stevenson - Game ball for Stevenson. I know we're in an era where the running game has been deprecated, but he's an absolute beast. 2) Jacoby Brissett - He's never going to blow anyone away, but just being "steady" and "adequate" felt like a huge improvement over what we saw last season. 3) The offensive line took a huge leap from what we saw in the pre-season. Thanks, David Andrews! Dad Rock Jam of the Week ...

Three Things to Watch This Week - Week 6

The 1 - 4 New England Patriots play C.J. Stroud and the Houston Texans at Gillette Stadium on Sunday October 13th at 1:00 PM. They really should stop buttering the ball between plays. That Patriots - Dolphins game last week was one of the worst things I've ever seen. Let's never speak of it again. The Patriots have announced third overall pick Drake Maye as the starting quarterback this week. I feel like it's too soon. But it's not my job on the line. I'll be nice and cozy on the couch with snacks and beverages and a dog that will pick the absolute worst time to decide that he has to go out. Drake Power Rankings: 1) 's Cakes 2) (the duck)  3) (the singer from Canada) 4) Gilded 5) Maye Here are three things that could have been better in week 5: 1) Jacoby Brissett. Thank you for your contributions. I appreciate your effort. I'm not sure how you're still standing. 2) The play calling had me scratching my head on multiple occasions. 3) The whole WR position...

Three Things to Watch This Week - Week 4

The 1 - 2 New England Patriots play Brock Purdy and the San Francisco 49ers at Levi's Stadium on Sunday September 29th at 4:05 PM. I would very much like to go back to watching fancy football. We're downgrading this team from "surprisingly frisky" to "potentially another lost season" after last week. There's just too far to go for this offense. Watch this space for additional updates Wilson Power Rankings: 1) How to with John 2) Luke 3) Thomas F. 4) Ann and Nancy 5) Marco 6) Eugene 7) Pickett 8) The Volleyball 9) Patrick 10) Owen 11) Rita Here are three things that I did not care for in week 3: 1) Poor Jacoby Brissett is getting absolutely beat up out there. I feel for the guy.  We have not put him in a good situation. 2) Punts. So many punts. 3) Aaron Rodgers. Maybe not dead yet? Dad Rock Jam of the Week Faith No More - Falling to Pieces Did the Patriots score 20 points last week?  My brothers and sisters in The Force, you know they did not. My predict...