Thursday Morning Third Down Back

The defending Super Bowl Champion New England Patriots play Josh Allen and the Buffalo Bills at Gillette Stadium on Saturday December 21st at 4:30 PM. It puts the lotion in the basket. The Bills are... (checks notes) ... actually pretty good this year? (I apologize for using that tired joke format... If it makes you feel any better, I've written the rest of this column with my head hanging in shame...) The Patriots offense is... not good. I'm not going to sugar coat it. The line is bad. The running game is bad. And... the quarterback hasn't played well in a while now. No more making excuses for TB12. Goose Power Rankings: 1) Talk to me _____ 2) Mother 3) Golden 4) Gossage 5) Canadian Here's three things I liked about last week: 1) JC Jackson - Hasn't gotten nearly enough credit for a really good season. 2) Stephon Gilmore - Has probably gotten the proper amount of credit for a really good season. 3) N’Keal Harry - N'Keal migh...

The New England Patriots play Patrick Mahomes and the Kansas City Chiefs at Gillette Stadium on Sunday December 8th at 4:25 PM. Hey guys! How's it going? Golden Power Rankings: 1) Path 2) Girls 3) Goose 4) Child 5) Egg Nog 6) Colorado 7) Tate 8) Fang Here's three things I'll be watching for Sunday afternoon: 1 - 3) Sony Michel, Rex Burkhead and James White. I thought they ran the ball fairly well last week. One of the few positives. The defense should be fine. The passing game will be meh to meh plus. If the Patriots are going to control this game, it will be by running the ball. (Of course, now that I've predicted this, they'll throw the ball 55 times.) Perfect Season Watch 2019 The Cincinnati Bengals went ahead and won themselves a game, thus ending Perfect Season Watch 2019. The 2008 Detroit Lions and the 2017 Cleveland Browns crack open a case of room temperature Natty Ice in celebration. Here's Week 14 of The...

Offense in a Coma by S. Morrissey, J. Marr, T. Brady Offense in a coma, I know I know, it's serious Offense in a coma, I know I know, it's really serious There were times when I could Have murdered the offensive line But you know, I would hate Anything to happen to Tom. No, I don't want to see the punter again. Do you really think The defense will pull through? Do you really think The defense will pull through? Do ooh ooh ooh Offense in a coma, I know I know, it's serious My, my, my, my, my, my baby, goodbye There were times when I could Have strangled the offensive live But you know, I would hate Anything to happen to Tom. Would you please Run the ball here? Do you really think They'll play Sanu? Do you really think They'll play Sanu? Do ooh ooh ooh Let me whisper my last goodbyes I know, it's SERIOUS.

The defending Super Bowl Champion New England Patriots play Lamar Jackson and the Baltimore Ravens at M&T Bank Stadium on Sunday November 3rd at 8:20 PM. We’re on to Alderaan. Falcon Power Rankings: 1) Millennium 2) Maltese 3) Sam Wilson 4) and the Snowman 5) Atlanta Here's three things I'm looking forward to tonight: 1) First round pick N’Keal Harry - He's active! I like it. Show me what you got. 2) The Defense - Can the defense contain Lamar Jackson? It'll be fun to find out! 3) Cut the kicker. They did! Perfect Season Watch 2019 HOLY CRAP THE DOLPHINS WON A GAME. That leaves the Bengals as the only remaining team without a win. Here's Week 9 of The Buck Stops Here , featuring some of R.E.M. guitarist Peter Buck's tastiest riffs. Let's jump in the wayback machine. Carnival Of Sorts (Boxcars) Tight tight tight. Did Jakobi Meyers have a catch last week? Yes. But just one. /tasteful bass solo from You Ca...

The defending Super Bowl Champion New England Patriots play Baker Mayfield and the Cleveland Browns at Gillette on Sunday October 27th at 4:25 PM. * Note the later start time. Just enough time for me to sneak in a Sunday afternoon Dad Nap. Do your job. My predicted score was juuuuust a bit off last week. I'm fine with that. I thought the Jets were on the way up. Nope! A couple of roster moves this week. Off the team: Josh Gordon (somewhat surprising) Michael Bennett (less surprising) On the team: Mohamed Sanu Is a second round pick for him a high price tag? Sure. But you're close this year. Load up and go for it. Baker Power Rankings: 1) Ginger 2) -'s Dozen 3) Street Irregulars 4) Anita 5) Mayfield 6) Rick 7) Joe Don 8) Kenny 9) Mark Linn- Here's three things I liked last week: 1) Another impressive week from the defense, especially the secondary. Who was this to , Sam Darnold? What do you even say to this when you'...

The defending Super Bowl Champion New England Patriots play Sam Darnold's Spleen and the Noo Yawk Jets at MetLife Stadium on Monday October 21st at 8:15 PM. If you had to go into battle, would you want him with you? This defense is special. A+. The offense is... C- right now. Maybe that'll be good enough this year. I don't know. I'm still suggesting my "punt on 1st down, put the defense back out there" strategy. Watson Power Rankings: 1) DeShaun 2) Emma 3) Emily 4) Ben 5) Dr. John Here's three things I'm thinking about for Monday night. 1) With Josh Gordon probably out, it looks like another tough week for the wide receiver group. Jakobi Meyers might be... good? I'm not putting him in Canton (neither Ohio nor Mass) just yet, but if you throw it to him, he catches it. Functional!  Good hands! Brady needs to stop taking 4 years to trust new WRs. This team doesn't have that luxury. (To be honest, Brady has been unnecess...

The defending Super Bowl Champion New England Patriots play Eli Manning Daniel Jones and the New York Giants at Gillette on Thursday October 10th at 8:20 PM. Ouch. Demi Power Rankings: 1) Moore 2) sexual 3) Lovato 4) -gorgon 5) glacé 6) -lle, Cecil B. We're on a short week, people. Let's keep it rolling. Here's three quick hits for Thursday. 1) Dont'a Hightower looked great out there after missing week 4. They should expand the rosters so that more players can take rest weeks. I'm only half kidding. 2) This defense against a rookie quarterback should be fun to watch. And Saquon Barkley appears to be out this week. Belly rubs for everyone!   3) Cut the kicker. Perfect Season Watch 2019 The Broncos went ahead and won a game last week, knocking themselves out of contention for the perfect 0 - 16 season. The Jets, Bengals, Washington Football Team and Dolphins are all still alive. Unfortunately Miami and Washington play each other...