Thursday Morning Third Down Back

The New England Patriots play Zach Wilson and the New York Jets at Gillette Stadium on Sunday November 20th at 1:00 PM. (Not Zach Wilson, but this picture still kills me.) If the season ended today... that would be really weird. BUT ALSO... the 2022 Patriots would somehow be in the playoffs. The bad news is the schedule looks fairly unpleasant from here on out (ugh, we still have to play the Bills twice? Who thought that was a good idea?) With the season 52.9% over, let's hand out some mid-season grades! Offense overall: D- Sloppy and unpleasant to watch. Like me eating a piece of pie. Offensive coaching: D- Something has to change. Soon. This doesn't really seem sustainable in its current configuration. Offensive line: D  M. Night Shyamalan thinks this line has too many obvious holes. Quarterback: D- I liked it better when we had the best quarterback of all time for two decades instead of Three and Out Jones. Not to put it all on Mac -- the line and the coaching have been s

The New England Patriots play Justin Fields and the Chicago Bears at Gillette Stadium on Monday October 24th at 8:15 PM. Belly Rubs Game ball to the defense. Two good games in a row! (Against horrible, horrible teams...) Bob Power Rankings: 1) 's Burgers 2) Silent 3) Sideshow 4) Balaban 5) Kraft Here are five guys I really had fun watching last week: 1) Rhamondre Stevenson - Having a great season so far. He looks like the real deal. 2) Bailey Zappe - Even if he doesn't get to play another snap this season, it's been a fun ride.  I can't wait to see the Patriots turn Bailey Zappe into a second round pick that later becomes a 3rd round pick and two 6th rounders. 3) Tyquan Thornton - Two touchdowns! One on the ground and one in the air. The dude was fast . Immediate contributions from rookies! Who'd have thunk it? 4) and 5) Hunter Henry and Jonnu Smith - The tight ends even showed up last week! Good game all around. Did the Patriots score 20 points last week? Yes! 90s

The New England Patriots play Jared Goff and the Detroit Lions at Gillette Stadium on Sunday October 9th at 1:00 PM Ad domum. Cool Dad's Club Meeting tonight 9:00 - 9:05 PM   - Fall clean up projects (good)   - Winterizing your house (good)   - Red Sox not in the playoffs (not good) Bailey Power Rankings: 1) 's Irish Cream 2) George 3) Beetle 4) Zappe Here are three things that didn't completely suck in the loss to the Packers: 1) Bailey Zappe - Nobody is saying he's the second coming of Brady or anything, but I thought he played well under the circumstances. I don't think they would have been in it right up until the last minute with Hoyer under center. 2) Matt Patricia - The play calling was less horrible last week. 3) Jack Jones - Do we love to see a rookie corner with a pick six? We do! Did the Patriots score 20 points last week? Yes! 90s Jam of the Week Lush - Superblast! My prediction: Patriots 31, Lions 30 ***** This week we have Fake Matt Patricia. And why n

The New England Patriots play Aaron Rodgers and the Green Bay at Lambeau Field on Sunday October 2nd at 4:25 PM. For an all timer, shouldn't Rodgers have been to more than one Super Bowl by now? [Book promotion: book 5 out now  - The Lady in the Leaves . Free on your Kindle if you've got The Prime.   Otherwise just 99 cents. Cheap!] Hold on. It's about to get bumpy. It looked like Mac Jones got hurt pretty bad late last week. The Patriots are saying "day to day", but I'll be shocked if he's out less than six weeks. The slim chance of the Patriots making the playoffs this season is juuuust about closed. It's probably OK to not watch the game this week. Go spend time with your family! Or if you don't like your family that much, go spend time with somebody else's family!  You're freeeeeee! If Mac is out for a while, long time boring person Brian Hoyer will probably get the nod (But he knows the offense!) . Here are five guys I'd rather see

The New England Patriots play Mitch Trubisky and the Pittsburgh Steelers at Acrisure Stadium ( is that right? that can't be right. ) on Sunday September 18th at 1:00 PM. Rough week at the office. Well that went about as well as I expected. Yikes. Sometimes you just run into an unstoppable juggernaut like... the Miami Dolphins. Game balls to no one. No one! Kyle Power Rankings: 1) MacLachlan 2) Broflovski 3) Dugger 4) Selina 5) Saskatchewan Here are three things that I'm hoping improve slightly in week 2: 1) Mac Jones - Is he dead? He took a couple of brutal  hits last week. Also, somebody tell him to stop throwing off his back foot. His mechanics look awful when he's under pressure. 2) Kendrick Bourne - Made it out of the doghouse and onto the field for two plays  in fourth quarter and caught a 41 yarder on one of them. 3) The offensive line - let's end this section on a positive note... can't get much worse! 90s Jam of the Week My Bloody Valentine - Only Shallow My

The New England Patriots play Tua Tagovailoa and the Miami Dolphins at Hard Rock Stadium on Sunday September 11th at 1:00 PM. I like big backs and I cannot lie. Football is back! I can't recall a time I was less excited about the Patriots. This team doesn't look to be very interesting this year. I smell a 6 - 11 stinker coming on. We might have to get weird. Keep watching this space! Special recognition to the recently retired James White. My dude was amazing in Super Bowl LI. James Power Rankings: 1) Webb Space Telescope 2) White 3) Brown 4) -on Irish Whiskey 5) Rick 6) Etta 7) Bond 8) Lily 9) Caan 10) Gandolfini  Here are three things that I'm trying to get excited about this season: 1) Damien Harris - He's been consistently excellent. Do you know how many touchdowns he ran for last year? 15! Is he gone after this year? In all likelihood! 2) Rhamondre Stevenson - Hopefully ready to take that next big step and handle some of the load. And take over the lead role next y