The defending Super Bowl Champion New England Patriots play Marcus Mariota and the Buffalo Bills at Gillette Stadium in the AFC Divisional Playoff round on Saturday January 13th at 8:15 PM.
Division Power Rankings:
1) Sub ("I roll for coolness." "You rolled a 1. You have been... CAST OUT!")
2) cellular
3) Joy
4) Long
5) Bell
Since the Patriots were off the last two weeks, let's take a look at the opposition:
1) Derrick Henry (Titans RB) - That's a good baseball player name. Sounds like a long reliever for the Cardinals.
2) Marcus Mariota (Titans QB) - How many touchdowns will he both throw AND catch? Nobody knows for sure.
3) Mike Mularkey (Titans coach) - I like using his last name as a curse word. Very satisfying.
My prediction: Pats 24, Titans 21
(That's if we get Tom Brady from the last month.... If Tom Brady suddenly remembers he's Tom Brady and that he traditionally shreds Dick LeBeau defenses, then 38 - 10)
*****
This week we have Fake Matt Patricia filling for Fake Bill Belichick.
Hello Carbon Based Lifeforms. I hope this correspondence finds you well.
How were your holidays? Did you do anything fun?
Who's got two thumbs, a beard, and had some job interviews over the break? This me!
I met some really interesting people and got the chance to discuss the opportunities available to me.
But to be honest, the highlight of my recent travels was the chance to sample the different craft beers produced locally in each city.
If you've got a seasonal lager or stout that somebody in your city does well, I'll pick up the phone anytime. Sure!
Looks like I've got a tough decision coming up, you guys.
Fake Matt's Recipe of the Week:
Candied Pecans
Pecans are healthy for you, right? I mean, sure, the recipe has "candy" in the title. But other than that...
I love watching Dion Lewis make tacklers miss. I'll be sad if he's not back next year.
Division Power Rankings:
1) Sub ("I roll for coolness." "You rolled a 1. You have been... CAST OUT!")
2) cellular
3) Joy
4) Long
5) Bell
Since the Patriots were off the last two weeks, let's take a look at the opposition:
1) Derrick Henry (Titans RB) - That's a good baseball player name. Sounds like a long reliever for the Cardinals.
2) Marcus Mariota (Titans QB) - How many touchdowns will he both throw AND catch? Nobody knows for sure.
3) Mike Mularkey (Titans coach) - I like using his last name as a curse word. Very satisfying.
My prediction: Pats 24, Titans 21
(That's if we get Tom Brady from the last month.... If Tom Brady suddenly remembers he's Tom Brady and that he traditionally shreds Dick LeBeau defenses, then 38 - 10)
*****
This week we have Fake Matt Patricia filling for Fake Bill Belichick.
Hello Carbon Based Lifeforms. I hope this correspondence finds you well.
How were your holidays? Did you do anything fun?
Who's got two thumbs, a beard, and had some job interviews over the break? This me!
I met some really interesting people and got the chance to discuss the opportunities available to me.
But to be honest, the highlight of my recent travels was the chance to sample the different craft beers produced locally in each city.
If you've got a seasonal lager or stout that somebody in your city does well, I'll pick up the phone anytime. Sure!
Looks like I've got a tough decision coming up, you guys.
Fake Matt's Recipe of the Week:
Candied Pecans
Pecans are healthy for you, right? I mean, sure, the recipe has "candy" in the title. But other than that...
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