Skip to main content

Five Things to Watch This Week - Week 14 (Game 13)

The Patriots play their thirteenth game of the season against the Washington Redskins at FedEx Field on Sunday December 11th at 1:00 PM.

Oh wow... That field looks like crap.

I predicted a complete and total blow-out last week... and I was way off.  I can't handle watching this defense give up 500 yards every week. From now on, I'm going to turn the channel when the Pats don't have the ball.  Maybe I'll watch a movie or something.



Here's five guys on offense I'm going to be watching this week:

1) Tom Brady - Brady is going to have to play out of his mind for us to do anything in the playoffs.

2) Benjarvus Green-Ellis - It's December.  Time to start giving BJGE the rock.

3) Stevan Ridley - Still loving this kid.  4.8 yards per carry.

4) Chad Ochocinco - Up to 12 catches on the year now.  Or, you know, about one game's worth of balls for Wes Welker.

5) Matthew Slater - And let's go with Matthew Slater.  Sure. Why not?


Also, Mike Shanahan is not so good.

Did Chad Ochocinco have a catch last week?

YES.

My prediction: Pats 31, Redskins 28

Stay hydrated, my friends.

*****

This year, we're going to have regular contributions from Fake Bill Belichick for your reading pleasure.  Here's this week's selection from Fake Bill Belichick's "Tales From a Life in Football":

Most people already know I'm BFFs with Jon Bon Jovi.  What most people don't know about is my feud with Richie Sambora.

It definitely wasn't over a woman.  They used to pass the ladies around like water in those days.

And it wasn't over money.

I won't bore you with the details...  But it was over a chocolate chip cookie of all things.

Anyway, even to this day, Sambora is banned from all our facilities.  He knows what he did.

True story.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Three Things to Watch This Week - Week 1

The New England Patriots play Jalen Hurts and the Philadelphia Eagles at Gillette Stadium on Sunday September 10th at 4:25 PM. With the Dolphins, Bills and even the (gulp)  Jets all trending upward, and the Patriots shopping for offensive linemen at the TJ Maxx close out rack, this could be a very  long season. In five short years, we've gone from "Can we just skip ahead to the AFC Championship Game already?" to "Boy, it sure would be swell to win a playoff game again someday!" Based on what I saw in the preseason, I think we're looking at an above average defense and a below average offense. This is maybe a   6 and 11 team.  I have no idea how I'm going to get through this year. I knew the post-Brady transition was going to be hard... But I just didn't think it would be managed this poorly. As such, we'll be slowly transitioning this little weekly fan newsletter into a support group.  Just a quick reminder of what last season looked like. Gene p

Three Things to Watch This Week - Week 2

The New England Patriots play Tua Tagovailoa and the Miami Dolphins at Gillette Stadium on Sunday September 17th at 8:20 PM. Jabrill Peppers gave them a chance. Rough loss in week 1. Despite a horrific first quarter, they were in that game late. And they couldn't close it out. No moral victories. Bloom Power Rankings: 1) In 2) County 3) Bialystock and 4) Rachel 5) Orlando ... 11,997) Chaim Here are three things I wasn't particularly excited about last week: 1) The offense coming up small when the game was on the line. The defense gave them a chance. I'm seeing a pattern here. 2) The continued streak of being unable to win when the other team scores 25 points. 3) Giving away the ball. "We don't want it. You take it!" Did the Patriots score 20 points last week? Just barely. 2010s Jam of the Week The Joy Formidable - Whirring My prediction: Dolphins 34, Patriots 14 ***** This week we have Bill O'Brien, Reluctant Dungeon Master. Why is there so much text here?

Three Things to Watch This Week - Week 5

The New England Patriots play Derek Carr and the New Orleans Saints at Gillette Stadium on Sunday October 8th at 1:00 PM. I'd like to thank the Patriots for letting me off the hook early this year. No messing around this time. They are  definitely   not  a playoff team. I'm done talking about Mac Jones. I have nothing nice to say about him. Please don't mention his name to me ever again. "He's good! He just needs better weapons around him!" /throws ball two yards short of wide open receiver Jean-Luc power rankings: 1) Godard 2) Picard If I had to talk myself into it, here are three things I'm feeling kinda sorta OK about this year so far: 1) Some of the rookies have been mostly good, especially Christian Gonzalez.  (And now he's hurt!) 2) Probably going to see a lot more Keion White with Judon going down. 3) Demario Douglas might be good. Just hang on to the football. Did the Patriots score 20 last week? My Brothers and Sisters of Our Lady of the Immac