Thursday Morning Third Down Back

The New England Patriots play Joe Burrow and the Cincinnati Bengals at Paycor Stadium on Sunday September 8th at 1:00 PM. Protect him. New season. New coach. New quarterback. Going to be a whole lot of one o'clock Sunday games this season. Reserve your spot on the couch now. It's going to be rough ( I'm thinking maybe... five wins? ). Let's try to help each other get through it. As of opening day, it will have been 2044 days (!) since the Patriots last won a playoff game. I knew there was going to be a readjustment period after two decades of dominance. I just didn't expect the post-Brady era to suck as bad as it has. I let myself think there was a plan in place. I very much did not enjoy the Mac Jones Era. Was he put in a bad situation? Yes. Did he kinda suck? Also yes! ...and that's the last time I'll be talking about McCorkle. What do we know about this 2024 Patriots team? Well, we didn't really learn a whole lot from the preseason other than the offe

The New England Patriots play Derek Carr and the New Orleans Saints at Gillette Stadium on Sunday October 8th at 1:00 PM. I'd like to thank the Patriots for letting me off the hook early this year. No messing around this time. They are  definitely   not  a playoff team. I'm done talking about Mac Jones. I have nothing nice to say about him. Please don't mention his name to me ever again. "He's good! He just needs better weapons around him!" /throws ball two yards short of wide open receiver Jean-Luc power rankings: 1) Godard 2) Picard If I had to talk myself into it, here are three things I'm feeling kinda sorta OK about this year so far: 1) Some of the rookies have been mostly good, especially Christian Gonzalez.  (And now he's hurt!) 2) Probably going to see a lot more Keion White with Judon going down. 3) Demario Douglas might be good. Just hang on to the football. Did the Patriots score 20 last week? My Brothers and Sisters of Our Lady of the Immac

The New England Patriots play Tua Tagovailoa and the Miami Dolphins at Gillette Stadium on Sunday September 17th at 8:20 PM. Jabrill Peppers gave them a chance. Rough loss in week 1. Despite a horrific first quarter, they were in that game late. And they couldn't close it out. No moral victories. Bloom Power Rankings: 1) In 2) County 3) Bialystock and 4) Rachel 5) Orlando ... 11,997) Chaim Here are three things I wasn't particularly excited about last week: 1) The offense coming up small when the game was on the line. The defense gave them a chance. I'm seeing a pattern here. 2) The continued streak of being unable to win when the other team scores 25 points. 3) Giving away the ball. "We don't want it. You take it!" Did the Patriots score 20 points last week? Just barely. 2010s Jam of the Week The Joy Formidable - Whirring My prediction: Dolphins 34, Patriots 14 ***** This week we have Bill O'Brien, Reluctant Dungeon Master. Why is there so much text here?

The New England Patriots play Jalen Hurts and the Philadelphia Eagles at Gillette Stadium on Sunday September 10th at 4:25 PM. With the Dolphins, Bills and even the (gulp)  Jets all trending upward, and the Patriots shopping for offensive linemen at the TJ Maxx close out rack, this could be a very  long season. In five short years, we've gone from "Can we just skip ahead to the AFC Championship Game already?" to "Boy, it sure would be swell to win a playoff game again someday!" Based on what I saw in the preseason, I think we're looking at an above average defense and a below average offense. This is maybe a   6 and 11 team.  I have no idea how I'm going to get through this year. I knew the post-Brady transition was going to be hard... But I just didn't think it would be managed this poorly. As such, we'll be slowly transitioning this little weekly fan newsletter into a support group.  Just a quick reminder of what last season looked like. Gene p

The New England Patriots play Zach Wilson and the New York Jets at Gillette Stadium on Sunday November 20th at 1:00 PM. (Not Zach Wilson, but this picture still kills me.) If the season ended today... that would be really weird. BUT ALSO... the 2022 Patriots would somehow be in the playoffs. The bad news is the schedule looks fairly unpleasant from here on out (ugh, we still have to play the Bills twice? Who thought that was a good idea?) With the season 52.9% over, let's hand out some mid-season grades! Offense overall: D- Sloppy and unpleasant to watch. Like me eating a piece of pie. Offensive coaching: D- Something has to change. Soon. This doesn't really seem sustainable in its current configuration. Offensive line: D  M. Night Shyamalan thinks this line has too many obvious holes. Quarterback: D- I liked it better when we had the best quarterback of all time for two decades instead of Three and Out Jones. Not to put it all on Mac -- the line and the coaching have been s

The New England Patriots play Justin Fields and the Chicago Bears at Gillette Stadium on Monday October 24th at 8:15 PM. Belly Rubs Game ball to the defense. Two good games in a row! (Against horrible, horrible teams...) Bob Power Rankings: 1) 's Burgers 2) Silent 3) Sideshow 4) Balaban 5) Kraft Here are five guys I really had fun watching last week: 1) Rhamondre Stevenson - Having a great season so far. He looks like the real deal. 2) Bailey Zappe - Even if he doesn't get to play another snap this season, it's been a fun ride.  I can't wait to see the Patriots turn Bailey Zappe into a second round pick that later becomes a 3rd round pick and two 6th rounders. 3) Tyquan Thornton - Two touchdowns! One on the ground and one in the air. The dude was fast . Immediate contributions from rookies! Who'd have thunk it? 4) and 5) Hunter Henry and Jonnu Smith - The tight ends even showed up last week! Good game all around. Did the Patriots score 20 points last week? Yes! 90s