Thursday Morning Third Down Back

The second place 1 - 2 New England Patriots host the Carolina Panthers at Gillette on Sunday September 28th at 1:00 PM. Should be a barn burner. I marinated the football in butter and olive oil before the game last week. It sucks that they gave away a winnable game last week. Was that a good  Pittsburgh team? Eh, not really. Were the Patriots worse? Absolutely. Season Power Rankings: 1) Salt 2) Autumn 3) Spring 4) of the Witch 5) Tickets Three Things I'm looking forward to this week: 1) Wide receivers who know which direction to run. 2) Going for it on fourth down. 3) Ball security. Did the Patriots score 20 points last week? No. (Bonus points for putting up 33 on a hapless Dolphins team in week 2. If only we could play the Dolphins 17 times a year.) My prediction: Pats 24, Panthers 21 *** Film Pervert Corner - Neo-Noir Sicko Film of the Week: Memories of Murder Dir. Bong Joon Ho. 2003. Not an easy watch! *** Let's step into Fake Dr. Melfi's office for a quick therapy sessi...

The last place New England Patriots play the Miami Dolphins at Hard Rock Stadium on Sunday September 14th at 1:00 PM. They should have kept Jakobi. Joy Power Rankings 1) Anya Taylor 2) Formidable 3) of Cooking 4) Division 5) to the World I don't know what I was expecting for the first game under the new regime, but that wasn't it. Was there anything to feel good about last week? Here's what I've got off the top of my head. 1) Kayshon Boutte had a solid six catches for 103. That's nice! 2) Free agent signing Harold Landry had two and a half sacks in his Patriots debut. 3) Maybe we'll have a top five pick again next year. Also... lots of 1:00 PM games this season. Nice early bed times for everyone. Did the Patriots score 20 points? They did not! Days since the Patriots last score 30 points in a game: 1,063 days (I kid you not.) My prediction: Pats 9, Dolphins 37 *** Thursday Morning Third Down Back is pleased to welcome back special guest columnist Pinhead to shar...

The first place New England Patriots play the Oakland   Los Angeles   Oakland  Las Vegas Raiders at Gillette on Sunday September 7th at 1:00 PM. Patriot first round pick tackle Will Campbell. Douglas Power Rankings: 1) Adams 2) DeMario 3) Michael  4) The Lincoln–Douglas debates 5) Illeana  After back to back 4 - 13 seasons, you are allowed to feel a little skeptical about this team. What do we, as Patriots fans, have to look forward to in 2025? Returning:  Executive vice president of player personnel Eliot Wolf is somehow still here. Last year, the two wide receivers he drafted in 2024 combined for 13 catches. And one of them is no longer with the team. I'm against it. Coach Mike Vrabel. His career record as a coach is 56–48. This was seen as a significant upgrade over what we had in place. Offensive Coordinator Josh McDaniels. He's back! Again! Not returning: Coach Jerod Mayo. It was both a bad situation AND he didn't do a great job with it. That's ba...

"Is there any of the good Scotch left?" the Rookie asked. "I wouldn't call it good  Scotch. But no. We finished that weeks ago," the Veteran responded. Outmanned and outgunned, they rode west across New York to the certain slaughter waiting for them at Orchard Park. The streets wide and flat, indifferent to their struggle. "Is the water safe to drink?" "Don't know. Try it and find out." General Mayo lacked the sense of direction his predecessor displayed. If there was dissension in the ranks, it didn't show. But there was also no lust for the battlefield. Going beyond what was required of one's duty. They just didn't have the spirit for it. His predecessor had been deposed because the vibes were off. And now he risked the same fate. "Is there anything to eat?" "There's an empty can of beans. You may lick what's left off the bottom of it if you like." The talent level of recruits was lacking, not up ...

 

The 1 - 4 New England Patriots play C.J. Stroud and the Houston Texans at Gillette Stadium on Sunday October 13th at 1:00 PM. They really should stop buttering the ball between plays. That Patriots - Dolphins game last week was one of the worst things I've ever seen. Let's never speak of it again. The Patriots have announced third overall pick Drake Maye as the starting quarterback this week. I feel like it's too soon. But it's not my job on the line. I'll be nice and cozy on the couch with snacks and beverages and a dog that will pick the absolute worst time to decide that he has to go out. Drake Power Rankings: 1) 's Cakes 2) (the duck)  3) (the singer from Canada) 4) Gilded 5) Maye Here are three things that could have been better in week 5: 1) Jacoby Brissett. Thank you for your contributions. I appreciate your effort. I'm not sure how you're still standing. 2) The play calling had me scratching my head on multiple occasions. 3) The whole WR position...