Thursday Morning Third Down Back

The 1 - 4 New England Patriots play C.J. Stroud and the Houston Texans at Gillette Stadium on Sunday October 13th at 1:00 PM. They really should stop buttering the ball between plays. That Patriots - Dolphins game last week was one of the worst things I've ever seen. Let's never speak of it again. The Patriots have announced third overall pick Drake Maye as the starting quarterback this week. I feel like it's too soon. But it's not my job on the line. I'll be nice and cozy on the couch with snacks and beverages and a dog that will pick the absolute worst time to decide that he has to go out. Drake Power Rankings: 1) 's Cakes 2) (the duck)  3) (the singer from Canada) 4) Gilded 5) Maye Here are three things that could have been better in week 5: 1) Jacoby Brissett. Thank you for your contributions. I appreciate your effort. I'm not sure how you're still standing. 2) The play calling had me scratching my head on multiple occasions. 3) The whole WR position

The 1 - 2 New England Patriots play Brock Purdy and the San Francisco 49ers at Levi's Stadium on Sunday September 29th at 4:05 PM. I would very much like to go back to watching fancy football. We're downgrading this team from "surprisingly frisky" to "potentially another lost season" after last week. There's just too far to go for this offense. Watch this space for additional updates Wilson Power Rankings: 1) How to with John 2) Luke 3) Thomas F. 4) Ann and Nancy 5) Marco 6) Eugene 7) Pickett 8) The Volleyball 9) Patrick 10) Owen 11) Rita Here are three things that I did not care for in week 3: 1) Poor Jacoby Brissett is getting absolutely beat up out there. I feel for the guy.  We have not put him in a good situation. 2) Punts. So many punts. 3) Aaron Rodgers. Maybe not dead yet? Dad Rock Jam of the Week Faith No More - Falling to Pieces Did the Patriots score 20 points last week?  My brothers and sisters in The Force, you know they did not. My predict

The New England Patriots play Geno Smith and the Seattle Seahawks at Gillette Stadium on Sunday September 15th at 1:00 PM. Rhamondre was running through dudes. Considering how low my expectations were for week 1 and the season in general, I'm going to classify that first game as "delightful". Can you win with a conservative, run first offense and an aggressive defense in 2024? Maybe! HBO David Show Runners Power Rankings: 1) Chase 2) Simon 3) Milch 4) Larry 5) Benioff Here are three things that were pretty good in week 1: 1) Rhamondre Stevenson - Game ball for Stevenson. I know we're in an era where the running game has been deprecated, but he's an absolute beast. 2) Jacoby Brissett - He's never going to blow anyone away, but just being "steady" and "adequate" felt like a huge improvement over what we saw last season. 3) The offensive line took a huge leap from what we saw in the pre-season. Thanks, David Andrews! Dad Rock Jam of the Week

The New England Patriots play Joe Burrow and the Cincinnati Bengals at Paycor Stadium on Sunday September 8th at 1:00 PM. Protect him. New season. New coach. New quarterback. Going to be a whole lot of one o'clock Sunday games this season. Reserve your spot on the couch now. It's going to be rough ( I'm thinking maybe... five wins? ). Let's try to help each other get through it. As of opening day, it will have been 2044 days (!) since the Patriots last won a playoff game. I knew there was going to be a readjustment period after two decades of dominance. I just didn't expect the post-Brady era to suck as bad as it has. I let myself think there was a plan in place. I very much did not enjoy the Mac Jones Era. Was he put in a bad situation? Yes. Did he kinda suck? Also yes! ...and that's the last time I'll be talking about McCorkle. What do we know about this 2024 Patriots team? Well, we didn't really learn a whole lot from the preseason other than the offe

The New England Patriots play Derek Carr and the New Orleans Saints at Gillette Stadium on Sunday October 8th at 1:00 PM. I'd like to thank the Patriots for letting me off the hook early this year. No messing around this time. They are  definitely   not  a playoff team. I'm done talking about Mac Jones. I have nothing nice to say about him. Please don't mention his name to me ever again. "He's good! He just needs better weapons around him!" /throws ball two yards short of wide open receiver Jean-Luc power rankings: 1) Godard 2) Picard If I had to talk myself into it, here are three things I'm feeling kinda sorta OK about this year so far: 1) Some of the rookies have been mostly good, especially Christian Gonzalez.  (And now he's hurt!) 2) Probably going to see a lot more Keion White with Judon going down. 3) Demario Douglas might be good. Just hang on to the football. Did the Patriots score 20 last week? My Brothers and Sisters of Our Lady of the Immac

The New England Patriots play Tua Tagovailoa and the Miami Dolphins at Gillette Stadium on Sunday September 17th at 8:20 PM. Jabrill Peppers gave them a chance. Rough loss in week 1. Despite a horrific first quarter, they were in that game late. And they couldn't close it out. No moral victories. Bloom Power Rankings: 1) In 2) County 3) Bialystock and 4) Rachel 5) Orlando ... 11,997) Chaim Here are three things I wasn't particularly excited about last week: 1) The offense coming up small when the game was on the line. The defense gave them a chance. I'm seeing a pattern here. 2) The continued streak of being unable to win when the other team scores 25 points. 3) Giving away the ball. "We don't want it. You take it!" Did the Patriots score 20 points last week? Just barely. 2010s Jam of the Week The Joy Formidable - Whirring My prediction: Dolphins 34, Patriots 14 ***** This week we have Bill O'Brien, Reluctant Dungeon Master. Why is there so much text here?