The Patriots play their fourteenth game of the season against the Denver Tebows Broncos at Invesco Field at Mile High on Sunday December 18th at 4:15 PM.
Aaaaand we're back to 4:15 games this week. Crap.
Also... There's only three regular season games left. Crap crap.
Anyone watch any ESPN this week? I'll recap for you:
Tebow. Tebow Tebow. Tebow Tebow Tebow Tebow Tebow Tebow.
Tebow Tebow?
Tebow Tebow Tebow Tebow Tebow Tebow Tebow Tebow Tebow Tebow Tebow Tebow Tebow Tebow Tebow Tebow.
How do you contain Tebow? He's too fast for a lineman to catch him. He's too big for a defensive back to take him down. If I'm the defensive coordinator for the Patriots this week, I want linebackers taking up space and making tackles. Linebackers everywhere. Put 5 or 6 of them out there at a time (note to self - do we even have 6 healthy linebackers at this point?).
Here's five guys from the linebacking corps I'm hoping to see step it up this week:
1) Jerod Mayo - Game saving play last week. Also, congratulations on your five year extension.
2) Dane Fletcher - Dane was poised to have a break-out year then missed a bunch of time due to a thumb injury. Hopefully he can get things back on track.
3) Gary Guyton - I like Guyton a lot, but I'm not seeing him on the field as much this year. Health issues? Coach's decision? I have no idea.
4) Rob Ninkovich - Strong season. He's had a couple of big games this year. Watch for him to set the edge on Sunday.
5) Brandon Spikes - Also recovering from injury. Not quite living up to his potential yet, but there's still time. (UPDATE: Out this week.)
Did Chad Ochocinco have a catch last week?
YES.
My prediction: Pats 35, Broncos 34
(Broncos come back from 21 points down with 2:30 left to play and fail on the 2-point conversion attempt while going for the win... Gronk and Tebow then have a dance-off at mid-field. Gronk wins and proceeds to tebag Tebow on national television...)
Stay hydrated, my friends.
*****
This year, we're going to have regular contributions from Fake Bill Belichick for your reading pleasure. Here's this week's selection from Fake Bill Belichick's "Tales From a Life in Football":
Super Bowl XXV - 1991. We had just beaten the Bills for our second title. My last year with the Giants as defensive coordinator. A nation that was heavily involved in the Gulf War looked to football for a welcome distraction. And Bill Parcells was more drunk with power than ever.
We're flying back to New York on a late night flight. The whole plane is a huge party at that point. If you can ever get yourself on a flight home with a Super Bowl winning team, I highly recommend it.
I go to the back of the plane where the most yelling is to see what's going on.
Parcells sees me and grabs me by the arm. "Belichick, you're in the next game" he barks at me.
What are they playing? Poker? Dominoes?
Nope. Russian Roulette. Seriously.
At this point, Parcells had two of his own personal Viet Cong gunmen he traveled with at all times. I'd have been shot on site if I refused.
I sit down at the table. And my turn comes up.
"Is this a good idea at thirty thousand feet?" I ask.
"Just shut up and pull the trigger!" Parcells come back with. One of the gunmen steps forward and shows his rifle.
It was 10 times scarrier than that scene in "The Deer Hunter".
I eventually get up the courage the pull the trigger. And...
* click *
Nothing. Phew.
"Hey! Another one goes wide right!" Parcells yells and slaps me on the back.
"This is nuts," I say to myself. And I got out right after that. I took the head coaching job with Cleveland. Sure, it was the Browns. But at least I was able to get away from Parcells for a few years.
True story.
Aaaaand we're back to 4:15 games this week. Crap.
Also... There's only three regular season games left. Crap crap.
Who had their sexual assault charges dropped this week? THIS GUY!
Anyone watch any ESPN this week? I'll recap for you:
Tebow. Tebow Tebow. Tebow Tebow Tebow Tebow Tebow Tebow.
Tebow Tebow?
Tebow Tebow Tebow Tebow Tebow Tebow Tebow Tebow Tebow Tebow Tebow Tebow Tebow Tebow Tebow Tebow.
How do you contain Tebow? He's too fast for a lineman to catch him. He's too big for a defensive back to take him down. If I'm the defensive coordinator for the Patriots this week, I want linebackers taking up space and making tackles. Linebackers everywhere. Put 5 or 6 of them out there at a time (note to self - do we even have 6 healthy linebackers at this point?).
Here's five guys from the linebacking corps I'm hoping to see step it up this week:
1) Jerod Mayo - Game saving play last week. Also, congratulations on your five year extension.
2) Dane Fletcher - Dane was poised to have a break-out year then missed a bunch of time due to a thumb injury. Hopefully he can get things back on track.
3) Gary Guyton - I like Guyton a lot, but I'm not seeing him on the field as much this year. Health issues? Coach's decision? I have no idea.
4) Rob Ninkovich - Strong season. He's had a couple of big games this year. Watch for him to set the edge on Sunday.
5) Brandon Spikes - Also recovering from injury. Not quite living up to his potential yet, but there's still time. (UPDATE: Out this week.)
Did Chad Ochocinco have a catch last week?
YES.
My prediction: Pats 35, Broncos 34
(Broncos come back from 21 points down with 2:30 left to play and fail on the 2-point conversion attempt while going for the win... Gronk and Tebow then have a dance-off at mid-field. Gronk wins and proceeds to tebag Tebow on national television...)
Stay hydrated, my friends.
*****
This year, we're going to have regular contributions from Fake Bill Belichick for your reading pleasure. Here's this week's selection from Fake Bill Belichick's "Tales From a Life in Football":
Super Bowl XXV - 1991. We had just beaten the Bills for our second title. My last year with the Giants as defensive coordinator. A nation that was heavily involved in the Gulf War looked to football for a welcome distraction. And Bill Parcells was more drunk with power than ever.
We're flying back to New York on a late night flight. The whole plane is a huge party at that point. If you can ever get yourself on a flight home with a Super Bowl winning team, I highly recommend it.
I go to the back of the plane where the most yelling is to see what's going on.
Parcells sees me and grabs me by the arm. "Belichick, you're in the next game" he barks at me.
What are they playing? Poker? Dominoes?
Nope. Russian Roulette. Seriously.
At this point, Parcells had two of his own personal Viet Cong gunmen he traveled with at all times. I'd have been shot on site if I refused.
I sit down at the table. And my turn comes up.
"Is this a good idea at thirty thousand feet?" I ask.
"Just shut up and pull the trigger!" Parcells come back with. One of the gunmen steps forward and shows his rifle.
It was 10 times scarrier than that scene in "The Deer Hunter".
I eventually get up the courage the pull the trigger. And...
* click *
Nothing. Phew.
"Hey! Another one goes wide right!" Parcells yells and slaps me on the back.
"This is nuts," I say to myself. And I got out right after that. I took the head coaching job with Cleveland. Sure, it was the Browns. But at least I was able to get away from Parcells for a few years.
True story.
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