Thursday Morning Third Down Back

The New England Patriots play Sam Darnold and the Seattle Seahawks at Lumen Field ( What kind of Severance ass name is that? ) Wednesday, September 9th at 8:20 PM. Seriously, NFL? You're killing me with these non-Sunday weeknight games. It's kinda amazing how this guy resurected his career once he got the stink of the Jets off him. Normally, I'd be more upset about a loss in the Super Bowl than I was last year. However, this team overacheieved by just about ever metric last season and they lost to a superior Seattle team. The Vrabel / Maye Patriots "arrived" about two seasons ahead of schedule. Also, I no longer have to watch Mac Jones put his whole body into a MAXIMUM EFFORT throw only for the ball to float eight yards. So... it's hard to complain. The Odyssey Power Rankings 1) Penelope 2) Antinous 3) The Horse 4) Circe 5) Eumaeus 6) Sinon 7) Eurylochus Honorable mention - the soundtrack. Here are three new players I'll have my eyes on Wednesday night. 1...

A cold New England February morning. The drive up ATM refuses to accept my cash deposit. I park my car and walk inside to see the teller. It is nice and warm inside. The Teller gives me a nod to come forward. Me: I'd like to make a deposit. Also, why are you wearing a Jets jersey? Teller: It's a Sam Darnold Jersey. I'm not a Seahawks fan. But I don't want to see the Patriots win another one. Me: Ahhh. Well, I guess being a Jets fan is its own punishment. (We both laugh. I walk away with my head held high.) Next Customer Who Didn't Hear our Conversation: Why are you wearing a Jets jersey? ***** crock pot teriyaki wings 3 pounds chicken wings 1 large onion, chopped 1 c brown sugar 1 c soy sauce 1/4 c cooking sherry 2 t ginger 2 cloves garlic - rinse and pat dry wings - broil wings 20 minutes on broiler pan (10 minutes per side) - transfer wings to crock pot - combine ingredients, pour over wings - cover and cook 2 - 3 hours on high (or 5 - 6 hours on low) Enjoy!

The New England Patriots play Bo Nix Jarrett Stidham and the Denver Broncos in the Tom Brady Memorial AFC Championship Game at Empower Field at Mile High Sunday January 25th at 3:00 PM. Big hugs! To say the Patriots have exceeded expectations so far this season is an enormous understatement. As recently as a year ago I remember wondering if they'd ever host a home playoff game again. Having said that, now that you're this close and playing the other team's backup quarterback in the AFC Championship Game, go out and get it. Also, Mike Vrabel now the longest tenured coach in the AFC East. I kid you not. Odyssey Power Rankings: 1) 2001: A Space _____ 2) The _____ (Homer) 3) Honda  _____ Here are three things I'm a little concerned about this week: 1) Drake Maye - He's been fantastic this season. A+. We couldn't have asked for more in his second year. A pleasure just to watch. Having said that, please hold on to that football, Drake Maye 2) Playing in Denver - tr...

  The first place New England Patriots host the Cleveland Browns at Gillette on Sunday October 26th at 1:00 PM. I am entertained. I'll admit: I was wrong. Vrabel has been a much better coach than I expected so far. He's got this team playing beyond their talent. They've been fun to watch. And... let's be honest... the upcoming schedule doesn't look too challenging at this point. My expectations have been raised. Hooper Power Rankings: 1) Matt (he drives the boat) 2) Austin 3) Mr. (Sesame Street) 4) X 5) Tobe Three Things I liked last week: 1) Rhamondre Stevenson. Do we trust him? Obviously not. But he was certainly better last week. 2) The offensive line. Showing signs of significant improvement. Amazing what a difference a year makes. 3) Kayshon Boutte. Are you getting enough Boutte? Did the Patriots score 30 points last week? Yes! This is becoming a regular thing. I could get used to this. My prediction: Pats 28, Browns 16 *** Film Pervert Corner - Not a Hallo...

The second place 1 - 2 New England Patriots host the Carolina Panthers at Gillette on Sunday September 28th at 1:00 PM. Should be a barn burner. I marinated the football in butter and olive oil before the game last week. It sucks that they gave away a winnable game last week. Was that a good  Pittsburgh team? Eh, not really. Were the Patriots worse? Absolutely. Season Power Rankings: 1) Salt 2) Autumn 3) Spring 4) of the Witch 5) Tickets Three Things I'm looking forward to this week: 1) Wide receivers who know which direction to run. 2) Going for it on fourth down. 3) Ball security. Did the Patriots score 20 points last week? No. (Bonus points for putting up 33 on a hapless Dolphins team in week 2. If only we could play the Dolphins 17 times a year.) My prediction: Pats 24, Panthers 21 *** Film Pervert Corner - Neo-Noir Sicko Film of the Week: Memories of Murder Dir. Bong Joon Ho. 2003. Not an easy watch! *** Let's step into Fake Dr. Melfi's office for a quick therapy sessi...

The last place New England Patriots play the Miami Dolphins at Hard Rock Stadium on Sunday September 14th at 1:00 PM. They should have kept Jakobi. Joy Power Rankings 1) Anya Taylor 2) Formidable 3) of Cooking 4) Division 5) to the World I don't know what I was expecting for the first game under the new regime, but that wasn't it. Was there anything to feel good about last week? Here's what I've got off the top of my head. 1) Kayshon Boutte had a solid six catches for 103. That's nice! 2) Free agent signing Harold Landry had two and a half sacks in his Patriots debut. 3) Maybe we'll have a top five pick again next year. Also... lots of 1:00 PM games this season. Nice early bed times for everyone. Did the Patriots score 20 points? They did not! Days since the Patriots last score 30 points in a game: 1,063 days (I kid you not.) My prediction: Pats 9, Dolphins 37 *** Thursday Morning Third Down Back is pleased to welcome back special guest columnist Pinhead to shar...